Rise
by SteamChesh
Summary: Yvette Trevelyan has to deal with a lot of things, lately. Mainly becoming the Inquisitor and her albeit complicated relationship with a certain 'strapping Templar'. What's a mage going to do about this mess?
1. Chapter 1- Tale of Three Wyverns

The companions were doing their usual, drinking whatever suited their fancy while Varric spun a tale of the day's events to those who weren't there.

"So there our heroine was, in the middle of not one wyvern, not two, but two juveniles and their mother."

"Boss! Why didn't I go with you?" Iron bull chuckled.

The Inquisitor laughed, "I didn't think I'd run into a family of wyverns!" She exclaimed, taking a sip of a brandy that burned her throat on the first sip. It traveled like fire magic down her throat.

"So she gets in the middle of the three of us, Hero, Seeker and of course, yours truly, and stands there, staff out, at first just staring."

"You did not!" Josephine exclaimed with a grin, getting sucked into the story.

"She was fierce, I tell you." Blackwall added, cementing Varric's claims, "I've never seen someone stare down a wyvern, let alone three."

"So here she is, just staring right? Slowly inching her way forward. The two children see her and they make this cry, alerting the mother. And of course she does not look happy that someone just attacked her babies."

"Though I hadn't actually attacked." Trevelyan interjected, taking another sip of the fire burning brandy. What was this stuff called again? Something Lava Burst? Brewed exclusively in Kal'Hirol. Hirol's Lava Burst? Yes, that was it.

"So she lets them attack her. I'm not kidding! She lets three wyverns charge at her, and then that's when we start calling her many sort of names, all the while she's summoning a blizzard, A Maker's damned blizzard."

"My dear! What did you think you were doing, being that foolish? Yet a blizzard? How cunning of you to know your enemies weaknesses." Vivienne smiled, as if she had just achieved her own personal victory, "you astound me. Keep doing the Mages proud."

The Mage inquisitor quietly chuckled, "it wasn't nearly as bad as Varric makes it seem, I promise."

"I would've paid to have seen Boss take on three damned wyverns!" Iron Bull grinned. Yvette never thought she'd be making friends with a Qunari. Not that she hated it, but before she joined the Inquisition- "joined", she would've laughed at the person who told her that a Qunari would be a friend and ally, it was unlikely finding a Qunari that was still living under the Qun to be as... Relaxed as Iron Bull was. But when shit got bad, his sword, and his massive body, had been the only thing standing stopping arrows or blades. And she was grateful to have both him AND his Chargers.

"I still bet it was amazing! With the blizzard just like 'take that you teeth filled lizard!'" Sera exclaimed, giddily clapping her hands together.

"So here we are in this small grotto, and the Inquisitor here is making a blizzard. It's getting colder and colder, I'm shivering, Seeker's teeth were chattering-"

"No they were not."

"And Hero had icicles growing off his beard."

"Was blasted freezing!" Blackwall laughed.

"So the three of us were getting cold, and the wyverns were getting more and more pissed off, and I was afraid that our Inquisitor was going to get eaten alive before I could get a bolt off. Before I know it, there are three sets of teeth lunging at her, the tail of the mother whips around and when the tail connects with the inquisitor's face, I thought we were all done. But she keeps enchanting! And for some blasted reason, I feel like I'm getting hypothermia. I'm wearing gloves all the time, and I still thought my fingers would fall off."

Trevelyan shook her head and took a small sip.

"How much magic did you pour into this spell? Sounds deliciously disastrous." Dorian said, grinning.

"One set of jaws buries the teeth in her leg, so she's got a cut on her face, and she's bleeding down her leg, and I feel like that's when all hell breaks loose, again. The blizzard spell finally triggers and its harsher than ever. Seeker, Hero and I, we just got very cold. The wyverns? Perfect ice statues! Right down to their frothing saliva."

"You got bit by a wyvern? You should let everyone see the scars!" Iron Bull cheered. Others followed suit.

"You've got quite the crowd to please now, inquisitor." Varric chuckled, slightly smirking.

Trevelyan shook her head, "this is your doing." but she was still slightly smiling. Thankfully, she was wearing a tunic above her small clothes, yet underneath the "uniform". What was the harm right?

She took off the coat of the uniform and everyone gasped.

"Damn Boss." Iron Bull gaped.

Then she rolled up her pant legs, the leg where she got bit.

"Varric, you just have to finish telling the story!" Josephine squealed with almost giddy delight.

"All in due time Ruffles, all in due time. So the blizzard spell finally goes off and it freezes the wyverns. I mean full on ice statues. Then, she summons lightning, and I don't think those poor bastards know what hit them, I notice now that Seeker, Hero and I all have a barrier. I'm pulling Bianca back to full draw, maximum penetration, Seeker and Hero are getting ready for that full swing, and a fire spell goes off at the moment we hit them, they instantly shatter. Some of the ice hits us, but the barrier keeps us from actually bleeding. Inquisitor is standing in the middle of the carnage, on one knee, the staff is barely holding her up."

"Varric, I was fine." The mage laughed. He wasn't wrong, she was exhausted from the sudden magic drain, and she had been bleeding from the ice shards, and the bite on her leg, and the cut from the wyverns tail.

"Makers breath! Did you have any potions?" Josephine asked nervously.

"Not a one." Varric answered, also true. They had just taken the keep and drained the lake, went to close the rift and so they had been out of potions since the morning.

Trevelyan's eyes met Cullen's and she slightly smiled before she noticed his frown, his eyebrows were furrowed.

"Commander, come and join us for a drink." Josephine said, trying to ignore the tension in the room.

"Perhaps another time, Josephine. I need to have a talk with our Inquisitor. It regards the keep we took in Crestwood."

Trevelyan spotted his tell. It was all in his eyes. They never left hers.

She took another sip of her brandy, a rather large sip. "Don't play a game of Wicked Grace without me." She winked as he excused herself and followed the commander to his "office".

"A family of wyverns? Please tell me he's joking." He demanded as soon as she closed the door.

For a moment her back was turned to him, then she slowly turned around with a sheepish smile.

"It was an exaggeration?"

"Yvette..." Cullen sighed in defeat, closing the space between the two of them with just a few steps.

He got a look at her new scars and gently brought his hand to her face and grazed his thumb against her un-scarred cheek.

"Yvette..." he said again, he was looking for words. They had forgone the formality of calling each other by their title when they were alone. And she was certain that he was the only one that called her by her name. Even when she was friends with almost everyone.

"I was worried about you today. I am worried about you everyday. You fight demons and bandits and monsters. I worry because I am not there with you to hold a shield up for you. I am sadly needed here."

Trevelyan looked away from him, slightly ashamed of herself. This was the last thing she wanted him to do was worry about her.

"When we escaped from Haven, all I could think about was how you laid your life on the line for other people. You rescued people from fires, even as we were retreating into the chantry. When it came time for the actual evacuation you laid your life down again. I... I suppose that's when I knew."

"Cullen..."

"Yvette, please let me finish. If I don't finish now, I might never get the chance."

So, the Mage gently held his hand in support.

"When I knew how I felt, I got frightened. How could I not? You were staring down Corypheus and that... That dragon for me, for all of us to escape. I had no idea what would happen. I wanted to know, I wanted to be there with you. To be your strength. Your shield. My want to protect everyone extended to everyone else except the person who needed my protection the most."

He took a breath and his grip tightened. "I was frightened I would never see you again, Yvette. If that ever happened I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I was not there when you needed me most."

He gently cupped her face and brought her face to his, "I live with the fear that every time you leave Skyhold's protection you may not come back. When I hear tales of your adventures outside... I worry about you. It's foolish, I know, but that never stops me."

"Cullen..." Yvette tried again, but Cullen brought his face to hers, running an armored hand through her dark red hair. It had gotten longer since all of this started. He rather liked it that way. There was no dire need, there was no time limit, there was no false archdemon breathing down their necks, threatening everyone and everything. It was just Yvette and Cullen. He needed to know she was there and this all hadn't been some lucid dream, wicked torture. But when his lips met hers, his fears washed away.

She was here. She was here with him. Letting him...

Yvette chuckled as they let go, air breathing life into their lungs again.

Cullen gave her that boyish smirk that she never said she loved so much. She couldn't help but smile back at him for a moment.

"Then... It's a good thing I'm staying here for a few days, isn't it?" She smirked and winked at him as she walked toward the door.

Cullen was grateful. But he sensed an underlying issue with the Mage. Even off Lyrium (and a few games of Wicked Grace) he could spot her tell. But maybe it was that he hadn't had a dose in... Months that he could sense something... Off about his own mage.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

Her hand stopped as she grasped the handle of the door.

"I... I planned on telling you after." She admitted carefully.

Cullen put a strong arm around her waist, "I'm not letting you leave my sight until you tell me what's going on."

"My duties for the inquisition have me around red lyrium almost all the time." She admitted with a sigh, Cullen's grip gently tightened, "I've been heeding Varric's warning and I haven't touched the damn stuff, but I do feel and hear something humming in the back of my head... Drives me insane during silences. I just want a few days here to clear my head." She turned around and found him frowning again.

"Cullen-"

"I will watch you. No one has the better experience than me. I used to be a Templar. I can help you in this matter at least."

"But Cullen-"

"Yvette. Please." He pulled her close, "let me do this." He gently buried his head in her soft hair and gently ran his hand over it. He was not losing her. Not to this.


	2. Chapter 2 R&R

Hear and feel a humming that was in the back of her mind? She had downplayed it so. She didn't want him to worry much, but she was better off just mentioning that she wanted to spend time with him. Why had she not said that instead? The vision of hindsight is always perfect, is it not?

As she wrote down these things in a journal, a cold sweat taking over. Fogging her mind. The song clear in her head. Nothing she could write music for. No, red lyrium had it's own music. It's own call.

She remembered the events of this morning in her mind;

She didn't think it was so bad. Not until she noted that she could hear it. That blasted stuff singing to her, in her mind. The song was so beautiful... That's when she knew she was in trouble.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra had shouted, mostly to jolt her out of her stupor after staring at a red lyrium deposit for more than a moment. She would play it off as the exhaustion from the Wyvern fight had gotten to her. It was possibly the only way she could get away with it.

"Right." Trevelyn shook her head and slammed magic into it, destroying the deposit. As she did so she felt a scream in her head and an intense pain like lightning shoot through her body.

"We've scouted the entire area." Varric said approvingly, now that the red lyrium deposits were destroyed. His soul felt more at ease, "let's go to Skyhold. I might be able to find a few things out about this shit." And to have a talk with Curly, since he is probably the one that she listens to.

The Mage nodded, "I think we could use some R&amp;R, don't you?"

"Couldn't agree more, Inquisitor." Varric chuckled as the four made their way back to Skyhold.

That's when she had told him. That's when she had told Cullen. And that was three days ago? Maybe just a moment ago? The fever made her lose track of time.

She looked down at her desk, she kept a journal of her afflictions, that's what she was writing in now. Not only would it help her, but also might help those who need further insight on the effects of red lyrium. From someone living and not mentally unstable.

She continued to write. At first what she writing was legible, understandable, soon she began to catch herself writing symbols. She put the quill down and rested her head on her hands.

Thoughts swam around in her head, she thought they were hers, but she knew they weren't. Or were they? She heard faint thumping sounds get louder and louder. She ignored them, swearing to the Maker, to Andraste that she would survive this trial and not open the door to these new demons.

She wasn't sure how long she had her eyes closed, but she was startled out of her stupor when she heard hurried footsteps up her stairs. Her demons were here, hopefully to end her pain, her delirium.

"Yvette!" His voice echoes in her head, even as he neared.

"Cullen? Why are-"

"When you didn't answer the door, I feared the worst." He gently took her feverish head into his cool hands, "Maker's breath." He quietly exclaimed, "you're running a fever."

Yvette weakly smiled, "I could've told you that."

"Don't exert anymore energy. I'm here now." Cullen gently picked her up, her head rolling on to his shoulder like a doll. She was so light.

"How long has it been?" Her voice barely making it out of her throat.

"Yvette... Shh. I'll be here every step of the way."

She was so tired, so weary. And frightened. If she lost control, could he... Could he strike her down? Could he take her life in an effort to save Skyhold?

"Cullen if I..." Her eyes said it all; 'If I turned into an abomination... Could you end me?'

"No. You won't. I... I couldn't."

The main hall was empty, as expected. It was during the small hours of the morning. As he exited the main hall, she saw the sun, just barely peeking over the horizon. Even in her stupor, she thought it was one of the prettiest things she had ever seen.

"I'm glad to be here with you." She said with a small smile and laid her head gently in the crook of his neck. She was so tired. But she knew things were going to be alright.

She smiled as she drifted off to sleep in the Commander's arms.

* * *

She was in the fade, this place just couldn't get enough of her could it? Well, she escaped it once at the temple, she would do so again. Except...

All the scenes around her were... Friendly. Loving even. Memories. One moment she was at the Circle of Magi in Ostwick, laughing with her fellow mages, exchanging banter with one of the fellows who preferred the company of men. Playing a small game with the children... Summoning small lights, re-enacting a play she had read for the children with a simple illusion spell.

She watched as she recited some lines and a Templar watched from afar. She smiled shyly, as she was a teenager and hadn't yet learned to follow her heart.

With that thought the fade had put her in the scene where she had finally gathered courage to tell Cullen. She was so ready when... She felt the warmth of his breath on her lips. She was so eager... And then...

"Commander."

There was a heavy sigh.

"You wanted a copy of Sister Leliana's report."

"What?"

From a spectral third person view, she could feel the... Irritation dripping off of Cullen. She felt bad for the poor messenger. She really did, but she remembers being slightly annoyed herself. But she laughed at the situation. It was so funny and so awkward.

"If you need to-"

* * *

Cullen had his lips on hers. She had almost forgotten what they felt like. How soft they were, how he smelled of mahogany wood, paper, and ink, with a little bit of steel and polish.

Yvette could only smile against his lips as he brought her to reality with a kiss of life.

"That was... Um... Really nice." She weakly smiled.

Cullen looked at her with a relieved and worried smile as he got exactly what she was getting at.

"That was what I wanted." He whispered low enough to where only she could hear.

A slight grin spread across her face, "oh... Good."

"You have me quite the scare. I thought I'd lost you."

Yvette adjusted her positioning on the infirmary bed. She was so weak.

"I've fought stronger things before." Who was she trying to convince?

Her voice weak as it was, was confident. Her eyes were bright and full of fire. A small doubt plagued his mind, but was wiped out when she gripped his hand and when he looked in her eyes, he laid another small kiss on her lips and he believed her words.

He would help her defeat this monster. He had to. If he helped her with her demons, then it could only mean his were beatable too.


	3. Chapter 3 - Still Here

**A/N I just wanted to take a few words to say thank you to the followers of this story! :) Any reviews/comments/follows/favorites gives me morale! :)**

* * *

"Curly! I've been looking everywhere for you." Varric said, walking into the commanders office. He looked worse for wear. "Listen... I... We need to talk."

Cullen sighed, he had been dodging everyone by visiting the infirmary for hours on end. It was thankful that no one sought him there. But out of all the times to be bothered, the dwarf picks now?

But Giselle had convinced him to go back to work, for Yvette's sake.

"What is it, Varric?" The commander asked, glaring at the notes in front of him. There had to be something somewhere.

"It's about the Inquisitor."

Cullen dropped the notes and ran to the dwarf, "is she okay?"

"That's the thing. She was staring at red lyrium the other day and I just thought you might want to know."

Cullen sighed, his hand wiping down his face. "Yv- the Inquisitor is in the infirmary. We've been trying to keep this under wraps-"

"Keep what? The fact that you're head over heels for each other? It's not working out so well." Varric jested, crossing his arms with a slight smirk, "in this conversation, you can call her by her name you know." He added.

Cullen frowned, he knew that he hadn't said a word to anyone, it wasn't their business. Yvette hadn't said anything either, he knew that. But he also knew that people gossiped, and he supposed rumors would get around eventually...

"That's not what I meant." Cullen gravely said, looking at the notes on his desk with a frown. "It's that... I already know. She told me and I said I would keep an eye on her. But... My duties here drag me away from her longer than I would like. So... I have the sisters feed me reports on her condition... It's worsening by the day."

"And now you know how she felt when she watches you."

Cullen's eyes widened, she went through this same emotional state he was in? He could only watch her from the other side of glass as she dealt with this monster on her own. As she dealt with several monsters on her own. Corypheus, Calpernia and now Red Lyrium was added.

"Curly. She stopped taking the lyrium potions we were packing her to support you. That's how determined she is to fight yours with you. She's become more powerful from that experience. But... This is a whole new level of awful."

Cullen nodded in agreement. "Which is why this stays between us. The Inquisition and the inquisitor have to appear above addictions... But as a person..." He wanted to help her.

"I'll do what I can. You just do what you can, and it will all work out. She's a tough one. She'll make it through." Varric assured the nervous commander.

Cullen waited for Varric to leave before falling in his chair. He hadn't read the reports. Varric hadn't seen her. He wanted to believe, and at first he did. But his hope was slowly dwindling the more this went on.

He read the last of the military reports. The candle, made by Yvette herself, never went out from a breeze and never melted. All he had to do was light it and then blow it out. It was night by this point and a Chantry Sister hadn't come in since the last report. Which was... By the Maker. Had it been dawn when the last report was given to him?

Slowly her descent into madness has begun. And her fever had risen. It was an unknown illness that they did not know how to combat.

He blew out the candle and closed his office. Making his way to the infirmary. Nobody knew that the commander slept above his office, so he just told the soldiers who inquired about where he might be headed, he just told them he had a fairly long day and wished to retire to his room.

As if he could even if he wanted to.

He quietly opened the infirmary door and stepped in. Mostly without a sound.

"I was just about to go looking for you, Commander."

"Mother Giselle. How..." He trailed off, unsure how to finish his sentence, "how is she?" Was she alright? Did he really want to know?

"Come see for yourself."

There she was, sleeping peacefully.

"How long has she been like that?" His voice full of relief.

"Since the afternoon. She didn't want you to know about what was happening to her."

"What? Why?"

"You carry your burden yourself, Commander. All she does is support you. But the weight she carries now, she won't let anyone else have. She takes everyone else's problems and solves them. She knows you support her, but she feels this is something she needs to do on her own." Giselle spoke softly, and plainly.

"Her fever is down, and she's no longer talking to people who no longer exist. She is recovering, Commander." She added, putting a gentle hand on his. "Take a seat next to her, Commander. That is the most you can do right now." Giselle simply smiled and gave the Commander and the Inquisitor some room to themselves.

Cullen took no time to sit properly. He went by Yvette's bedside and took her hand. Andraste had chosen her to lead the Inquisition. The Maker watched over her, Cullen was sure. But why...

Why would he put on of his servants in this situation?

His eyes slightly stung as he clenched them shut.

He heard a slight sound sort of like music, even if it was faint, it sounded as if it was next to him.

He opened his eyes, but saw that hers were still closed, and she was slightly smiling. Was she asleep?

"Find me, still searching, for someone... To lead me... Can you guide me... To the revolt inside me..."

Cullen gripped her hand just a little tighter, "I'm here Yvette. I'm here." He whispered, almost frantically hoping she would wake up.

Her temperature was normal, she wasn't sweating nearly as bad as when he first found her in her quarters.

In her dreams she saw Cullen's face. He was looking at her, cupping her face, telling her that he was here for her.

"Templar... Igniting... Fire inside me..."

Cullen held her hand as she fell silent. In a hurry he checked her pulse, to see if she was breathing. And she was.

She approached the breach and looked up. She reached for it with the hand that held the anchor. And in her dreams she closed it, and everything was falling around her.

"No promise... Surviving... The breach in the sky..."

In her dreams she saw everything fall, but it was silent, as if she knew it was her time to die. She accepted her fate. She shed a single tear as she never got to say goodbye to Cullen... Then she closed her eyes.

She gasped for air as she looked around frantically.

"Yvette!" Cullen exclaimed, his emotions bordering panic.

"Cullen... You're... You're here." She smiled softly letting herself catch her breath, putting her small hand on his face, "what... What's this?" She asked softly, as it was slightly dark but wiped something wet from his face, his eyes.

"I thought I'd lost you. My emotions have been bordering madness and panic, since I ... Yvette... I couldn't bear the thought of... I couldn't... The Maker wouldn't be able to stop me."

"He couldn't take me even if he wanted to..." She whispered, kissing his wet cheek and gently wiping it away, "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon..."

She smiled and put his forehead on hers. For the moment, there was peace. There was no immediate fear that death was upon them.

"Truly?"

She smiled and looked into his shining brown eyes, "I'm still here aren't I?"


	4. Chapter 4 - Dreams

The next day didn't come without it's fair share of hardships. Cullen could definitely say that, to anyone. But the dreams... They were slightly worse now. Without the lyrium. He hadn't been able to sleep for days. Not solid sleep anyhow.

It was maddening to see that Yvette was having the same problem with the more horrifying of the two lyriums.

Not to mention Josephine and Leliana were looking at him strangely. Or was that just his imagination? Withdrawal did make one paranoid...

Cullen met Leliana's gaze. He caved under that stare. The spymaster knew everything, did she not? It was bound to get to her at some point. Better to hear it from the horses mouth, right?

"How are you feeling?" She knew already. He could tell in her tone.

"I'm... Fine." The words were struggled and sluggish, but they were true none the less, "just a headache that's all."

Just a headache from not sleeping. That and Yvette was suffering because of what she viewed as "righteous duty". She was stubborn. And hot headed. But beautiful. And kind. Thoughtful of others... The list continued. One side of his lip curled up in a slight smile as he remembered her scent, lilies. He was certain. Crystal Grace, perhaps? Or was it Prophet's Laurel? Perhaps it was Embrium? No those were in the family of orchids... He always got flowers mixed up, it was not his forte.

But perhaps...

"Commander?" Josephine's voice startled him out of his stupor.

"Ah- ahem. Yes?" He tried to recover, but from the giggling that came from both Leliana and Josephine, just made him the more curious.

"You doing it again." Leliana winked.

"Doing what?" Makers breath, he hated it when she was vague.

"You're smiling, commander. It does you good. Keep doing whatever you are doing." Josephine smiled kindly.

She was just so nice, wasn't she?

He groaned and wiped his face. He was practically surrounded by women all day... Women that could read him like an open book.

He frowned slightly when they started giggling again.

"When you actually need me, I'll be... Around." He had to see her. There was no way he would get to if he waited any longer.

He pretty much charged out of there attempting to hold the smile inwards. The first ray of sunshine in his day.

He made a quick stop by his office, which he had abandoned in everything except his physical things. It was hard to say which he spent more time at: the infirmary or the war room.

Having to lie to Leliana was difficult, and in the end she had asked Varric anyways.

"What is the commander doing with his time? Not that I mind him smiling..."

"Curly is just enjoying what little free time he has. That's all. Just be happy for him. We've all gotta be happy for something."

Leliana still sounded suspicious, but let it go. For now. When she found the missing Inquisitor, she would ask her. She had a suspicion that the Inquisitor wasn't far, which is why she didn't worry.

When Cullen carefully made his way to his office a Chantry sister was standing outside, holing a bouquet of flowers, ironically embriums.

"Here. This is from her. They will help you sleep."

"How did-"

"She is concerned that you are worrying too much on her behalf."

"Is she-"

The Chantry sister smiled, "she is well. She wants you to sleep, and when you have slept, visit her... She requested you have these. They will help you sleep." She smiled.

Cullen frowned. He didn't want to 'sleep' in fact it was on the bottom of his list of things to think about. But Yvette was another woman who could read him like an open book. Except this was a reader he didn't mind.

"Fine." He let her into his office and accepted the bouquet of flowers. It wasn't like Yvette to do this.

There was a small note attached, "place the Embriums where you can smell them and before you sleep have some Elfroot Tea. It will taste a little bitter, but add a little bit of honey and I promise your headaches will stop as will the muscle aches."

Cullen smiled, she was always thinking of other people.

As requested, he did as she asked. The tea was less bitter than he expected, but the honey did help. He got drowsy quickly, as was expected, and he retired to his room.

As he fell asleep he only wished that Yvette could be there with him. Perhaps he could... With that thought, sleep took him.

It was, as normal, the Circle in Fereldan. Blood Mages. He watched his friends die and he felt the pain that was inflicted on him. "No... No... No."

Over and over again they tried. But they couldn't break him. And he hated Mages for it. He despised all Mages and what they could become.

He had arrogantly demanded that the Right of Annulment be put it place. That every mage in that circle be executed. He was angry, didn't see the beauty in magic any more. How could he when all it was was... Demons?

"No... No!"

And with that a flash of light and when he blinked he saw snow. So much snow. He looked around, trying to remember where he had seen this place before. Cold winds howled in his face, he felt the cold but was not harmed. Dreams. Dreams were always strange.

He continued looking around when he saw a dark figure in the distance.

He ran to it, hoping it to be a traveler. But as he ran to it, he saw that familiar mountain side. And he knew where he was. He knew who that figure was.

She was so cold. She knew she was living on adrenaline alone. She had no healing potions. What she did have were several wounds, almost fatal.

He tried shouting her name, to no avail. Her teeth chattered. She knew realistically that she was going to die of hypothermia. She had naught but light armor and a staff. For a moment, he swore she looked at him, swore she smiled, but she did not move for a while, and it was difficult to tell in this blizzard. The cold made her body weak, her knees almost unable to move... She moved, with renewed purpose as every bone, joint and muscle in her body revolted against her.

Her movements proved too weak against the piled snow. Tears began to fall from her eyes. The pain, the loss, being lost... She almost fell over dead... Until she saw embers.

"Embers..." Cullen, She attempted to breathe, I'm here... "recent?"

She walked only a few more feet and saw Cullen's pauldrons, and his face and she smiled. She smiled as she fell into the snow.

That's when he awoke from his dream. From... Was that her dream as well?

He quickly dressed, his mind racing. Questions to ask. He had to see if she was indeed alright.

He had missed her getting up, by mere moments it had seemed. Mother Giselle pointed to where the Mage was... On the battlements not far from the infirmary.

"Yvette?"

"I'm glad the tea helped." She smiled. She was tired still, he could tell. He could always tell.

"How did you know I made the tea?"

"You're standing straighter and the bags under your eyes are gone." She smiled. "I'm happy."

Cullen brought her to an embrace, "Maker's breath... You're... Freezing?"

"I... Yes. My dreams effect my body physically more so now with my... Direct connection to the fade." She shrugged. It was a theory anyways.

Cullen had seen her freezing to death during the Avalanche she caused to she them. How many times must she brush death for their sakes?

"You didn't effect just you." Cullen said softly, stroking her hair.

"I... Did you?"

He just looked into her eyes knowingly.

"Andraste's flaming sword..." She blushed, rather embarrassed, "I... When I saw you for the first time... Perhaps it was idle fancy... But... The more we talked, the more we spent time together... I just... All my life my circle said 'when Mages love, their emotions get entangled and messy' there were no laws forbidding it, and Templars did not stop those who fell in love, there was no mistreatment at all in my circle. But... I never listened to my heart. Not until I met you." She smiled, "Cullen, I... When I caused the Avalanche that destroyed Haven, I wondered above all else about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you as the harsh bitter wind hit me all the way down to my bones... When I was freezing to death on that mountain..." She took a breath and as her teeth chattered again, "I didn't continue walking for anyone except you," She smiled awkwardly, "I didn't think that you would actually appear in my dream. Not that one anyways."

Then she chuckled, "look at me being so cheesey I could be my own wheel-" She went to look away and say something else but she was cut off.

He did it again. He took her off guard. His soft lips collapses on hers and she gently braced herself on the stone battlements. His normal scent of mahogany, steel, polish, ink and parchment were now mixed with the subtle scent of the Embrium.

"I'm so glad you told me." Cullen finally released her, still holding her close, as he was afraid she might slip through his fingers. "I'm so glad you came into my life, Yvette." He smiled, putting his forehead onto hers.

"As am I, Cullen... As am I."


	5. Chapter 5 - That One Thing From Home

**So again, I just wanted to thank those of you who are reading and favoriting and following. :) It does boost my morale. **

**Kind of a long chapter. Lol. Sorry about that.**

* * *

Josephine chuckled as she read the latest letter.

"And what puts you looking like the cat that ate the canary?" Leliana asked with a slight laugh.

"I keep up with certain families everywhere. And I'm planning a surprise party."

"Oh! Josie! For whom? I must know."

"It would be good for the Inquisitor to see her family and vice versa. They complain that they receive more letters from me than their youngest daughter. And her birthday is arriving within the week."

"The Trevelyan family is coming here? I must get out my best dress." Leliana smiled, "do they have an armed escort?"

"Of course." Josephine smiled, "I'm sending Cullen's best leaders. Not to mention the heir is bringing his most loyal soldiers. They will be well protected, now we must find the Inquisitor."

"Don't worry. Leave that to me."

* * *

She opened her eyes. She was so cold, despite having the best fur blankets. And she was sore. Blasted Red Lyrium...

"Dreams of Haven again?" Cullen asked, worry taking his face, dabbing her forehead with a cloth.

She jumped, alarmed at hearing his voice. She playfully frowned when he laughed.

"I... I didn't think you would actually stay. Did you get any sleep?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Some." He replied getting out of the chair. "But that doesn't matter right now. How are you feeling? You were tossing and turning the entire night."

"Well, Haven didn't try to freeze me this time." She tried to make light of the situation, "having some Elfroot tea will help with the sore muscles. Then I'm back to being up and around again." She smiled. She was starting to get restless. She viewed it as a good sign.

Cullen shook his head, "oh no. I don't think so." He flashed her that boyish smirk.

"Oh? And who are you to stop me?" She laughed, pushing the furs off of her and put her feet on the floor.

She did feel stronger today. Perhaps she would, with the agreement of her new _nanny_, be able to sleep in her quarters instead of being holed up in the infirmary.

She gave her body a slight stretch before the back of her calves nearly spasmed, so she fell backwards laying on the furs again. Almost felt like home... Well the circle. "Do you miss home?" She asked after a moment of silence.

He let out a small laugh, "Every day. But I have a duty I must serve before going home."

She nodded, he could take leave whenever he wanted, couldn't he? But... She missed Ostwick so bad. She buried the feelings of homesickness in her chest.

"Do you? Miss home, I mean."

"Every day." She smiled, "I don't have the leisure of taking off leave. Not when we have a madman attempting to gain godhood on the loose." She let a small sad chuckle, "and surprise, I'm the only one that can save the world."

"And if they saw me as I was yesterday, or the day before? Addicted to something that I haven't physically touched? How do you explain that to them?" She shrugged, attempting to change the topic, "I'm sure Leliana is worried."

She heard the door open and she ducked under the furs, pretending to be have a conversation with Cullen.

"While in the Hinterlands I also saw an area that might be fit for finding more Embrium and Elfroot for our soldiers." She said, having a hard time keeping her straight face.

"Finding you was not easy, Inquisitor." Leliana said with a chuckle that announced victory, "or you for that matter, Commander."

Cullen laughed, but could offer little more than a shrug.

"I didn't think it would be wise to alert everyone that I was ill." Yvette chuckled.

"A wise decision. And brilliant tactic to be in the infirmary. Why no one would look for you here is beyond me." Leliana smiled, "Commander. Josie wishes to speak with you."

Cullen slightly bowed as he left the infirmary.

"Feeling better?" Leliana smiled.

"Much. Hopefully I can sleep in my own quarters tonight." Yvette laughed, "I'm starting to miss my bed..."

"Did you plan to stay in Skyhold for a few more days, Inquisitor?"

Yvette raised an eyebrow, "I hadn't thought about it. Now that I'm feeling myself again, I'm thinking about going to hunt down some more Venatori. Dorian says there might be some hiding in the Hinterlands. Shouldn't take but a few days, I'll be done within the week, more than likely."

For an on the spot plan, it wasn't so bad.

Leliana seemed to approve. "A good choice. I'll get Dorian to mark them on your map so you can leave as soon as possible."

"The less of a foothold they have the better." Yvette agreed, but felt as if she was being pushed into hunting Venatori. Not that she was complaining. She needed something to do.

She got out of the bed and once more put her feet on the floor and stood up. "Would you like to join me for a cup of Elfroot tea?"

Leliana smiled, "Sadly I cannot, intrigue does not sleep inquisitor."

"My door is always open." Yvette called to the leaving spymaster.

Blackwall was right, Leliana was lonely. If only they could find the Hero of Fereldan, maybe that would cheer up their spymaster, to have someone she trusted completely around, even just a little.

Not to mention, Yvette had so many questions to ask the daughter of the Cousland family. So many questions. But that would have to wait. People had to die today.

She drank tea and made the necessary preparations before packing a small bag. She felt so much better. She was still a little on the groggy and sore side, but her mind was clear. There was no 'song' of red lyrium trying to get in... That she could tell. She was grateful. Most of the deposits she had found had been destroyed now. So it definitely helps. Hopefully with the deposits destroyed, the area around it goes back to normal, hopefully anyways.

She made her way to the stables, bag packed and armor on. She was sad that Cullen didn't see her off, but Josephine was no doubt talking to Cullen about some nobles who needed the Inquisitions military force.

As if he would listen.

* * *

"Yes, Ambassador?" Cullen walked in to Josephine's 'office'. His armor accenting his already heavy footfalls.

"I am hosting a surprise party here in Skyhold-"

Cullen groaned, "Orlesian nobles? Maker, I hope not. Nobles already grate on my nerves. Orlesian nobles are the worst."

"Commander." Josephine looked stern, so Cullen closed his mouth and waited for the Antivan ambassador to continue.

"I am holding a surprise party for the Inquisitor. Her family writes to me saying that they have not heard word from her in several months and have informed me that her birthday is coming up. As is the anniversary of her Harrowing." She ignored the shocked look on Cullen's face, "since we need to improve morale after Haven... Well. You can see how it might be a good time to have a party for those still living."

"The Trevelyan family is going to be here?"

"The Inquisitor's parents, and her three older siblings."

Maker's breath. He wanted to meet her family sure, she never spoke of them, and here he was talking about his sister and his brothers all the time with her. It made him think about how selfish he was being about being homesick.

"I... See." He was now nervous. What would they think of him? Would she even tell them? He wanted to keep their private life between them, but this was her family.

"Commander? Are you alright?"

"I... Yes." He nervously smiled, "well if it's for the inquisitor, we might want to figure out what food and drinks we might want to get." He clapped his hands, this was a worthy cause. Her companions knew more about her personal tastes than anyone, except maybe Cullen, but feigning innocence was the best pathway.

Dorian and Varric were the first people that came to mind. Yvette had a respect for Vivienne, but that's where their friendship seemed to end. Yvette and Solas mostly talked about the practice and theory of certain magic, and she had great respect for him as well. However, Cullen noted that she preferred the company of the Tevinter Mage. Why, Cullen didn't know. Nor would he guess.

"I must admit, I did not think you would take this task without some... Arguing."

He put his Wicked Grace face on now, she had caught him, and it was now he had to recover.

"You said it yourself, Ambassador. After the loss of Haven and the losses at Haven, our men and women could use a night to celebrate. Even if it is surrounding the Inquisitor."

"What shall we try to get our hands on, commander?"

"I'll ask around. Surely there's someone who knows the Inquisitor." _More than me, anyhow..._

Cullen walked out of the keep to see the Inquisitor leave for the Hinterlands.

He sent her a small wave and a smile, when she looked towards Skyhold and he could see that she smiled back. He was worried, she was suffering from a monstrous addiction. More monstrous than his... But yet when he saw her, she showed that it was possible for him. And he would strive to be that pillar for her when she arrived from her Hinterlands job.

"Commander."

Cullen jumped, "Solas! Makers breath."

"I did not mean to scare you, Commander." Solas apologized, a vague smile appearing on his face.

"Thankfully my sword is not on my belt." Cullen almost sighed in relief, and cursing himself for leaving it.

"Tis to my relief." Solas slightly chuckled, "a word?"

"As you wish. What is this about?"

"This surprise party for the Inquisitor. What exactly is it for?"

"Josephine tells me that it is her day of birth within the week, as well as her Harrowing."

"Then it is an important week for the Inquisitor, I see. Perhaps I may be of use then."

"Oh?"

"She keeps Crystal Grace in her quarters. I would imagine that is her favorite flower."

"How do you know this?"

"She let me come in to borrow a book she had, that and I was avoiding Sera that day... Might I add that is nearly all she planted in the garden? She has a patch of Elfroot and Embrium, yes, but the garden is mostly made of Crystal Grace." Solas then thought for a moment, "that is all the knowledge I can provide." A wry smile made it known on his face, "do not worry, Commander. I have seen courtings many times in the Fade. You shall do just fine."

"I- what?" Cullen fought a gentle blush on his cheeks, courting? Maker.

"How do I know? The small act of not taking the lyrium potions that Varric packs. 'Tis small act to the untrained eye. Take good care of her commander, and she will take good care of you." Solas then slightly bowed and walked away.

Cullen's heart raced. Did everyone know? They couldn't. Not after the great pains that they went to hide it. He knew it was bound to get out sooner or later, but he did want to keep their private life... Well... Private. He was grateful however that she supported his decision to be rid of the lyrium.

Regardless whether or not people knew, he did know what to flowers to put around the grounds now. That was off his list.

* * *

Yvette laughed at Dorian's jokes, he poked fun at his own homeland, and yet, she could tell that he was homesick as well. She had talked about the Tevinter government there, and she believed if everyone was like Dorian, Tevinter would not have the terrible stigma attached to it.

"What about you? Surely there must be something you miss back home?" Dorian inquired, "you rarely talk about your home."

"It would be nice to know you a little better." Cassandra smiled.

Yvette laughed, "but I was a prisoner before." She poked her tongue out at the Seeker.

Cassandra laughed slightly and shook her head, "Perhaps. But now you are our friend."

"I think... The thing I miss most..." Yvette was silent for a moment, trodding on her Hart as they neared the Fereldan Hinterlands, "the thing I miss most? I... This will sound absolutely silly. I had this... Dragon, right? This little stuffed dragon my grandmother made. She was a mage too, but she went to another circle than I, but she made all of her grandchildren these toys by hand." Yvette sadly smiled as she remembered her grandmother, "I looked up to her when I had been sent to the circle of Ostwick. As a child I dragged that dragon everywhere with me. I hugged it so tight after my harrowing. I still like thinking that my grandmother got the hug before she died. When I left the Circle for the Conclave, I left it behind. They said that my little stuffed dragon would get back to my family, but that was the only companion I had as a child. So I suppose that's what I missed the most."

"A stuffed dragon? Well, there are worse things." Varric chuckled, "I miss the Hanged Man. Man, the memories there. I wonder if it survived Blondie's mess?" He wondered outloud.

"Do you always give people nicknames?" Yvette asked with a laugh.

"Nicknames are personal. And they keep identities hidden. Except for maybe Sparkler and Seeker." Varric winked at Cassandra who made a disgusted sound.

"Charming company, eh, Dorian?" Yvette mused.

"Only the finest!" Dorian let out a heart laugh.

* * *

They arrived at the camp and took a moment to rest and to eat. Yvette had another cup of Elfroot tea, and while Varric was telling another tale, she began to feel better and better. The soreness in her muscles were gone and she didn't feel groggy anymore.

They all ended up in laughed, "you made that up!" Cassandra laughed.

"Never! I thought Hawke was going to lock herself in her house _for days_ after that."

Yvette got up and stretched her shoulders.

"I'm going to throw a few spells around. I've been down for a few days, so a warm up would be nice."

"Try not to set the valley on fire." Varric chuckled.

"I'll go with you so we can _prevent_ forest fires." Dorian smiled, grabbing his own staff.

Yvette shook her head, but allowed him to come with her.

"Feeling better, I imagine?" Dorian asked.

"Much better. Thank you."

"We were all worried. Some more than others, I'm glad you didn't push yourself further. I would've hated losing my one and only best friend."

Yvette smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm not going anywhere. Besides... What would you do without me?" She winked.

"Drink myself into a stupor-"

"You do that on multiple occasions already." Yvette laughed and gently punched his shoulder, "Red Lyrium is awful. I wrote down what I could so perhaps they can come up with a cure. It was awful, but it could help people."

"Always looking out for others." Dorian chuckled and shook his head.

"They don't look after themselves _because they're too busy looking at me_ and how I'm 'changing the world'. So it became my job to look after them."

"Who looks after you then?" Dorian asked.

Yvette threw a small spell, didn't require much energy. Spirit magic didn't harm anything except the person you might be throwing it at.

"I couldn't answer that. People have their own problems. I take mine in stride because I must."

Dorian began to throw simple ice spells. "I worry about you, you know."

"I know."

"And Varric does as well. In his own way."

She threw up a small barrier around the two. She felt better now that she felt the flow of magic in her system. It empowered her. Made her feel whole again.

"I know that as well."

"We all do. And we want to shoulder some of your burden, but we're unsure of _how_ to do that."

"Varric and I had a talk once," Yvette started, as she began throwing lightning spells now, "he said he didn't officially join the Inquisition. Didn't know how to do the whole 'disciple' thing. You know what I told him?"

Dorian was silent and he stopped throwing spells to listen.

"I told him that I don't need disciples. I just need friends. Disciples are the last thing I need. I get enough judgment from nobles already. People I can't see turning their nose up at my decisions. Disciples, students in general when they don't like something their tutor does, is judge them. 'I don't like the way you did this and this, why didn't you do this instead? Why did I follow you in the first place?' " Yvette groaned just thinking about it.

"Talking from personal experience?" Dorian smirked.

"A little." Yvette let a smile grace her lips.

"Well, you're my best friend. I'm here for you, Yvette." Dorian smiled, putting a dark hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Though you should have seen your strapping ex Templar." He added in a low voice and a small wink, "the moments I did see him, and they were very few; he looked like he was a man going insane. Pacing back and forth, massaging his temples... He was worried about you while you were suffering from Red Lyrium." He paused, "let me rephrase; he worried about you intensely, while you were undergoing your own lyrium withdrawal."

Yvette threw a gentle ice spell at him.

"Hey!" Dorian laughed.

Yvette's cheeks were a slight shade of pink as she continued to throw small ice spells at him. Which he blocked for the most part.

"I know. We had a discussion about that." Yvette smiled a little. "He worries all the time."

"He's not the only one."

Yvette smiled at Dorian, "thank you. I do feel better knowing I have you at my back."

"I'm glad you do." Dorian laughed as they made the small walk back to camp, "I'm sure others don't feel the same."

"I _don't care_ what others think. You're my best friend." Yvette said to Dorian out of earshot of their two other companions.

"We saw the snowball fight." Varric chuckled, as he approached the two Mages. "Looks like she has a mean arm."

"He was covered with a barrier." Yvette chuckled, "he was fine."

"She would've killed you, Sparkler." Varric smirked.

"She had the element of surprise on her side. _Next_ time she won't be so lucky."

Yvette laughed heartily. What interesting companions indeed.

* * *

Cullen learned a lot of new things about the Inquisitor. That some people viewed her as a queen, almost a goddess, he would tell her none of that. She had enough pressure on her already.

He had found out almost everything, Solas was beneficial in giving her favorite flower, Iron Bull had given her three favorite drinks (Cullen would not have pegged her for being one for the hard stuff).

Sera offered almost no help, talking in circles, calling Yvette "her gracious ladybits" which annoyed Cullen a little, but said nothing. Cole was, as usual, nowhere to be found, Vivienne offered to cast magical effects, party favors, Blackwall would- could offer nothing, except maybe a few words at a toast.

At the end of the day, he was able to present a compiled list of all the things he had learned to Josephine.

"Commander... You_ have_ been busy..."

"I... Everyone has graciously gave me the information that we need. Her companions have been most helpful."

Josephine chuckled, "I see... Well you have been instrumental in this endeavor. I will personally thank her companions."

"Now... If my task is done, I have much security to work out. If we're going to have the Trevelyan family here, then we will need much security. I am the Commander of our forces, after all. I can also get Iron Bull and his Chargers involved, they seem to respect the Inquisitor quite a lot... All of her companions do."

"She is a rather curious woman. Making friends with Qunari, Elves _and_ Dwarves is quite a feat. Getting them to get along? A miracle. Out of all of her companions I am worried about Dorian the most."

"Because he's from Tevinter?"

Josephine could only nod, "I'm sure this will be a chance to prove himself. Not only in our eyes, but the eyes of those on the Inquisition."

"I'll be sorting through people if you need me, Josephine." Cullen chuckled, "The Herald would be devastated if anything should happen to her family." He wanted to plan their every step. This was her family. The Herald's family, the Inquisitor's family... Yvette's family.

His headache was becoming more persistent. The pounding of his head became more thunderous with every step. The sweating was awful. Here they were in the mountains, where the fortress held the sky... And he was sweating.

He had to beat this lyrium. He had to. Even if he had to chug Elfroot tea by the pints.

He nodded and resigned himself to a cup of the bitter tea, and to attempt to write a letter to his sister.

So far, all in all, he was in a good place. But he kept it short. As usual. But of course that didn't stop his 'loving' sister from attempting to pry.

'Dear Mia,' he found himself at a loss for words. Which was to be expected, he was a man of action, not a man of words.

'_Dear Mia, I'm still alive. Your loving brother, Cullen._'

* * *

Yvette was lying in the grass, arms spread out, a big grin on her face as she stared into the sky. It had been a good morning. Another group of Venatori were dead.

"Inquisitor, what are you doing?" Cassandra asked with a chuckle.

"Enjoying life. Watching the clouds go by. What does it look like?" Yvette looked up at the Nevarran princess who was slightly bent over, casting a shadow.

"It _looks_ like your about to take a nap."

"I prefer dark places when I sleep. Light just gets in the way." Yvette chuckled. "For someone who got away from the Grand Necropolis you don't really seem to enjoy life."

"I- that's_ not_ true."

"Cassandra, when was the last time you picked a flower and put it in your hair _because you could_? When was the last time you went swimming in an ice cold lake with naught but your small clothes? Look at the clouds to try and decipher shapes?"

"I was a child for the first and third." Cassandra answered with a huff, "and I never did the second."

"I did. Once." Yvette laughed and winked as if it were a secret, "I was a reckless teenager... Though it was _hardly_ a lake... More of a pond."

Cassandra sat down next to the inquisitor, "oh? And tell me how have you changed since then." Cassandra joked.

Yvette smiled. She hadn't changed. Not really. Haven added new things on her already existing personality. But nothing had changed. She didn't find herself indifferent to death, she didn't gleefully get on the throne and judge people with pride to a swift end. No. Even when on that Maker cursed throne, she tried to preserve life. Make use of everyone. She already killed bandits and Venatori, she didn't need anymore blood.

"You have a point." Yvette said after a moment.

"You never stop finding happiness do you?"

"Happiness is important to me. If someone is not happy doing what they do- _then they're doing something wrong_." Yvette sat up for a moment, "For instance. Dorian, Solas, Vivienne and I, all Mages. We have no qualms about being a mage. We all believe in our own way that magic should be celebrated. Understood. But notice where we put our devotion."

"Solas; Fade Mage. Conserved, polite, intelligent beyond his years. Notice when he holds his staff how each movement is practiced, he watches his enemies movements before hurling magic. He is also more than happy to share all of his knowledge and learn more."

"Vivienne; Knight-Enchanter. Political, powerful, methodical. She holds her staff gracefully but strongly, she wants to restore order. Even if blood must be spilled to do so. And she _knows_ blood will be spilled. She watches her enemies carefully before striking at their weakness, which could be a variety of things. Posture, movement speed, momentum. She does not share knowledge unless it suits her needs. She knows how to move up in the world. If she can become the next Divine, she can try and will try."

"And then there's Dorian; Necromancer. Pariah. Outcast. Dramatic. Every swing of his staff carries everything. His love, his hatred, the way we hold our staves are our personality. The way we cast our magic is our enjoyment of the craft itself. Dorian's way of casting magic is flashy, but that is Dorian. That's his personality. It makes him exert more energy, but if we don't enjoy our craft, then there's no point. If you don't find a cause to dedicate your sword, you don't pick it up."

"I've never thought about it that way." Cassandra stared at her friend, she was extraordinary, "you can tell all of this by the way they hold their staff and the way they cast magic?"

"Knowing them doesn't hurt." Yvette laughed.

"What about you?"

"Sorry?"

"What would you say about your style?" Cassandra asked.

"I wouldn't pretend to know. I can't watch myself fight." Yvette smiled, blowing a stray piece of dark red hair away from her face.

"Perhaps I can ask our mage friends and get back to you."

"Perhaps, I would like to know myself."

"Curious?" Cassandra asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Inquisitive." Yvette winked.

"_Clever._" Cassandra laughed as she laid down on the grass, next to the Inquisitor and they began to point out shapes in the clouds.

* * *

Yvette, Cassandra, Dorian and Varric were making their way back to Skyhold, before the week ended, as promised.

The fortress was in a bustle, and Yvette was more than happy to see it full of life. She lead her Hart to the stables.

"Blackwall, may I have a carrot?" Yvette asked, peeking her head in the building with a smile.

Blackwall nodded, stepping away from the small Griffon rocking horse that was expertly carved. She ran her fingers along the carved wood. Even the feathers were so finely done.

Blackwall tapped her shoulder and the Mage jumped.

"Sweet Andraste!" She breathes, putting a hand on her chest as she steadied her breath, "You know how to sneak up on people."

Blackwall laughed, "this is just something to keep the hands busy."

"You keep saying that but who are you convincing?" Yvette chuckled, taking the carrot from his hands, gently feeding it to her Hart, whispering tiny Elven phrases to it, phrases she had learned from Solas anyways. Eager to teach.

"You've had a long few days I'm sure. You should go and rest, Inquisitor." Blackwall offered, shooing the Mage away from the stables.

"Thank you, Blackwall."

"I'll take good care of her." Blackwall said, gently petting the Hart.

"Dennet wouldn't forgive you other wise." Yvette chuckled as she began walking away.

She looked up for a moment, and when she saw people going in and out of Cullen's tower... She slightly frowned. He wouldn't have time to see her, so she would see him another time... She trudged to her quarters and as she took every step up her footfalls became heavier and heavier. She had no idea how tired he was.

She was intrigued to find a gown on her bed. Her favorite colors of silver, dark purple and a light blue. Her brain reeled at why a gown would be there, but she was too tired to care. She filled the bath with water and once she discarded her clothes she delicately stepped in.

For a moment she let herself relax in the hot water before closing her eyes. Her muscles were beyond sore. The headache was prevalent in her head. She had no idea she was so sore, and her headache came out of seemingly nowhere. But the warm water and sweet scent of mountain air soothed her entire frame.

It was in that moment that she closed her eyes that she fell asleep. Her head gently resting on the back of the bath.

It was day light when she rested her eyes and the moon was fully out. The water was cold. Thankfully with just a small incantation, water became nice and warm as she began scrubbing a weeks worth of dirt off her skin.

Within a few moments, more clean water (using magic, of course) and a few petals of Crystal Grace and roses, she was able to get herself to smell pleasant.

She sighed in relief as she dried herself off with a towel and began getting dressed. Clean small clothes were first and then loose clothing underneath, then came the uniform pants.

She had just slipped on the coat when she heard a knock at the door.

"Yes?" She called.

"Are you decent, my dear?"

Vivienne. _Wonderful_. Yvette rolled her eyes and quickly buttoned up the shirt and pulled back her slightly longer uncut hair.

"Yes!" She answered after looking in the mirror for but a moment.

"Wonderful, I came to see how the gown..." Vivienne frowned when she saw the Inquisitor was wearing the uniform. "My dear, you look to be feeling better." But her tone sounded relieved.

Yvette could only nod, "very much so. It was... Trying." She added massaging her temples. Had she beaten it? "Tea, Lady Vivienne?" She offered.

"Yes, thank you."

"What is the gown for?" Yvette asked, putting Elfroot into a kettle and heating the water.

"What a clever question. The Ambassador has arranged for five nobles to arrive within the week. They want to see the Inquisition and its fearless leader."

Yvette held in a groan. Nobles. Nobles were like well dressed demons. Always grabbing for power, never saying the truth of what's on their mind... She hated the etiquette.

"How generous." The words came forced as she poured the tea in cups, "it is about time we have been taken more seriously. But is the gown necessary?"

"So you don't like it, my dear?"

"I..." She walked over to it, "it seems flashy. I mean... I like the colors, but..."

"Have you even tried it on, darling?"

"Well no-"

"Perhaps do that first. Then by all means judge. But do not just a book by its cover." She winked.

Yvette groaned. She hadn't worn robes, in years and they never had fancy parties at the circle. She ducked into a small section of the room and began taking off the pieces of clothing.

Once all the pieces of clothing was removed, except for her small clothes, she sighed looking in the mirror. She was one year older this week. And her body had a lifetime worth of scars, cuts, bites, claw marks, burn marks...

She began putting on the dress and when it was on and smoothed out, she came out of the small room, looking quite bashful. She... _Liked it_.

"See my dear? It's not so bad, is it?"

"Did you get this made by the tailor in Val Royaux?" Yvette asked doing a half twirl, just to see if the dress moved with her, to her giddy delight, it did.

"I did. But tonight, relish the peace you have. Nobles don't make it easy on anyone." Vivienne said with a dry smile, getting up and finishing the small glass of tea.

"Thank you, Vivienne. It's absolutely amazing."

"Perhaps we can get you in that at Halamshiral." She chuckled before leaving the room, her small heels clicking down the wooden steps. "Think of this as practice, my dear. Halamshiral will be like a viper's nest. Take care you don't get bitten."

Yvette sighed when Vivienne left. Halamshiral... They hadn't yet garnered an invitation, but she knew how to play The Great Game. Leliana had given her several tips and pointers as well as a few books on the subject. She didn't like it, but she knew the rules. Being a Mage would already put her behind. She knew that.

She took off the dress and put on a simple robe. She didn't plan on leaving her room for the night, nor did she plan on having any guests... Despite her wanting to see Cullen. They hadn't spoken since her trip to track down Venatori. She wondered how he was doing... His lyrium addiction worried her. More than she let on.

She sighed and after a moment of debate she decided to try and get some proper sleep.

It was in her sleep. The blasted song of red lyrium was in her sleep. She found herself deep in her own memories.

All of red lyrium. She felt the calling of it in her body. She read from no small amount of research that red lyrium has a mind of its own. Her body wanted it, needed it. Her mind tried to convince her that she needed the power it gave, that she would be immune to it overtaking her. That if she took only a little, she would be fine...

_"You only have to be near the stuff. It gets in your head..."_ Varric's voice echoed.

Her eyes opened.

A few extra days at Skyhold then. She decided. This time, she would clear her body for good. Once the Noble Family left. Maybe locking herself in her study would do some good? She would have to tell Leliana about it, of course. Someone had to know.

It was still night, the moon was still out, so she decided to read a random book she pulled from her small shelf. It was a book on the uses of magic, practically, theoretically, and _heretically_. Yvette chuckled, she didn't think she would read something like this, but she had found it an interesting read. She found herself making small notes. And underlined things that she would ask her fellow Mages on. Perhaps even share this book. Dorian and Solas would definitely find it an interesting read. Vivienne... She doubted. Probably hand it back to her and say she had read it, or found the book to reveal no information at all.

She shrugged and washed her face with water once she was done reading.

There was a knock at the door. "Inquisitor?" It was Cullen. And here she was in a robe. Was it afternoon?

"Stay here, Commander. This requires a feminine touch, darling."

"As you wish."

She was grateful to see Vivienne come up the stairs, dressed to the nines. She was wearing her Grand Enchanter robes. She was quite stunning, and carried herself that dared the world to throw anything at her.

"Let me help you get dressed, my dear. Your guests are here and we can't have you looking like you just stumbled out of bed."

Yvette sighed, and gave a slight smile, "yes mother."

Vivienne slightly laughed, "I'll be here my dear. Go put on your gown."

Yvette did as was told and Vivienne had sifted through what little face powders she had. During a war with darkness she hadn't thought of buying face powders of any kind.

Vivienne smiled and invited Yvette to sit and told her stories of the Duke Bastien, and how they met, fell in love and how she was very good friends with the Duke's wife, before her passing, all while combing Yvette's untidy hair, putting only the slightest color on her pale cheeks.

"See, my dear? It doesn't take long at all to clean oneself up... Now let's go see your guests." Vivienne smiled.

Yvette noticed her tone was different, it had a sense of caring, and Vivienne's smile was genuine, not forced. Yvette felt bad for avoiding her most of the time. She would make it a point to visit her more often.

She exited her quarters and went through another door. The hall was filled with people.

She spotted her several companions, Blackwall talking to Varric near the fireplace, Cassandra, Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana were talking to the five nobles, slightly bowing before two of them walked away with Josephine, Iron Bull was near the entry way, pint glass in hand, Dorian was keeping Sera civil until she left when she couldn't stand it anymore, which Yvette was somewhat thankful for, and she found Cole, on one of the structures still under construction. Yvette deducted that he didn't need to help, but simply wanted to watch. But when she looked back at him he was gone.

Yvette noticed this all in an instant. She noticed that her guests had no idea of her arrival. Vivienne's loud voice jolted her out of her thoughts.

"And now, presenting the guest of honor and shining star..."

Yvette had been played.

"Our very own Yvette Trevelyan."

By everyone. There was clapping and shouting in approval.

"Vivienne... What... Is all this?"

"This is your party my dear. Go. Some guests are very delighted to see you." Vivienne had a knowing smile.

"Grand Enchanter..." A masked woman spoke, and Yvette broke into a smile, "thank you for looking after my daughter." The woman removed a mask to reveal Yvette's matching pair of striking blue eyes and a smile, to which the Mage hugged.

"Mother." Yvette clung to the woman as if she would never let go, "I'm so glad to see you."

"As are we, my love." Her mother smiled, stroking her daughters dark red hair, "as are we..."

* * *

**So my headcanon is that the Ostwick Circle was a little different than every other circle we've come across, in a good way. I think that allow certain things like actual family coming to visit them every so often, Ostwick circle mages know about their children, that sort of thing. Love however is still frowned upon and discouraged, but it's not a forbidden fruit. I'd like to think that the Circle at Ostwick is what every circle should be. **

**Just wanted to clear that up. ;) **


	6. Chapter 6 - The Party

**I just wanted to give another shout out to those who follow/favorite/comment! I think I would be discouraged if not for you guys! :) So THANK YOU! :) **

* * *

Yvette hugged her mother for the longest time. "Oh mum..."

"No, no, no. No tears, darling." Her mother kissed Yvette's tears, "can't have you crying at your own party." She winked.

Yvette's mother was just as tall and stood proud, her black hair gently curling with grey and the same piercing eyes.

"Introduce me to your companions." Her mother said gently taking her daughter's hand, "your father and oldest brother are speaking to your commander. They seem to be getting along quite nicely."

"Olivier and Father would have some interesting war stories..." Yvette laughed, looking in Cullen's direction and saw that he was smiling, laughing. She made a mental note to tease him about it later.

"Where is Frederick? And Aspen?" Yvette looked around but found no trace.

"They wanted to take a tour, so your Ambassador is showing them around. I wanted to talk to you first, my love, but first introduce me to your companions."

Yvette smiled, "you've met Lady Vivienne already."

She looked around, trying to find someone free, and spotted a lonely Solas.

"This is the man who saved my life during my first few nights." Yvette walked over to Solas, "mother, this is Solas. Without his help, you'd no doubt be burying a daughter instead of celebrating her birthday."

Solas bowed slightly, "your daughter is most exceptional." He smiled, looking at both women before continuing, "I have never before met anyone who has such an open minded view. I assume you are to thank?"

"I've always been the one to encourage curiosity. Always ask questions."

"That is the only way you will receive answers." Solas finished the sentence, "indeed. Lady Trevelyan is perhaps the most gifted individual here. And not because of her mark."

"Thank you. Solas." Yvette's mother bowed, "Ir abelas."

Solas raised an eyebrow, " I am surprised you speak Elvish, Lady Trevelyan. But I am more curious why you are sorry. You need not apologize to me."

"I apologize on the behalf of my people. Humans put the Dalish in a precarious position. And I recognize that fact. I cannot forgive what the Chantry did, but not can I change it now."

"I see now where Yvette gets her infinite wisdom from." Solas said, a small smile gracing his lips as he bowed again, "but forgive me, I have taken up much of your time. This has been a pleasurable meeting."

"Indeed." Her mother bowed back and went back to her daughter's side, "he's a nice young man. He's got so much sadness in him..."

"He's a friend, and I won't pry him for information he doesn't wish to share. He wouldn't do it to me, it's only fair that I extend that curtesy."

"You've grown wiser." Her mother smiled, "I approve."

"That she has." Cassandra walked up to the two, "she has made the Inquisition into what it is now. I believe she will shape the future."

"Seeker Penta-"

"Cassandra, please. This is not a setting where I want to be called by my title." The Nevarran smiled, "we have all been through too much for that."

Yvette chuckled, "I agree. How's the book?" She winked.

Cassandra gently punched Yvette's shoulder, "you condone this blackmail?"

"It's not blackmail." Yvette joked, "Just curious how your... _Literature_ is going?"

"She is a wonderful person. I'm glad to know her." Cassandra smiled, playfully glaring at Yvette, putting her hands on her hips, "besides, it can't just be me dragging Varric around."

Yvette stuck her tongue out, "except I don't drag him against his will." Yvette added a wink to show Cassandra that she was just teasing.

"Varric? Varric Tethras?"

"None other. Who would've thought that he'd be such a pain." Cassandra laughed.

"Most story tellers are, dear." Yvette's mother joined in.

"Don't have to tell me that twice." Cassandra laughed, "it was good to meet you."

"And you as well. Thank you, Cassandra." Yvette's mother bowed, "For Keeping my daughter alive in battle."

"She does that on her own. My shield just takes the occasional arrow for her." With that, Cassandra walked away.

"You keep nice company." Her mother smiled.

"You haven't met all of them yet..." Yvette laughed, "Sera avoids nobles like the plague, unless her friends tip her off, Cole... I trust Cole but a lot of people don't."

"How very curious. Why is that?"

"His circumstance is very... Unusual. And we'll just leave it at that. And Iron Bull..."

"The Qunari? That's got to be a workout just watching him."

"Ha! You have no idea!" Yvette laughed.

"Though she's not much good for sparring with, she does provide a good drinking partner." Iron Bull grinned, walking up to the two ladies "and she's got guts that match mine. She's got spunk."

"High praise. Gets most of that from me." Her mother gloated.

"I definitely see that." The chuckle coming out with a grin, "I may not understand magic mumbo jumbo, but that's her job. And occasionally her job gets us in trouble."

"She's good at finding that, always was."

"I knew I picked a good employer." Iron Bull laughed, putting a large cup of ale to his lips. "Happy birthday, Boss."

"Thank you, Bull."

"No boss, thank you."

And with that he walked back to his post, near the door.

"Man of a few words. But if I want anyone leading a charge. He would be my first vote... And the first volunteer."

"I agree, Yvette, heartily. I'm glad you don't let race interfere with friendships. You have a good heart, Yvette. I'm happy we were able to keep an open heart and an open mind."

"She's got a big heart too." Dorian interjected, a glass of brandy in his hand, "big heart, good taste, what's not to like?"

"Mum. This is Dorian." Yvette had a wide smile on her face, "there is no one in the world I would rather have by my side, and no one in the world could've surprised me more with friendship... He has been so instrumental in helping us gather facts-"

"Keeping your sanity in check-"

"Fine tuning my magic-"

"Reminding you to take some time for yourself."

Her mother chuckled, "Yvette? Are you trying to sell me the good qualities because he's from Tevinter?" She had an eyebrow raised and her arms crossed.

"Well. Yes."

"I don't care where he's from. It seems from me that he is different than most of his countrymen. Dorian, I wish you luck on reshaping Tevinter. You'll need all the luck you can get."

"Don't I know it." Dorian laughed, taking a sip of his brandy, "that has yet to happen, however."

"You'll make it happen. You've got that fire." Her mother said with an approving nod. "You both do. I wish I could help you change the world."

"You already did." Dorian smiled, motioning to Yvette.

"There needs to be more men like you, Dorian." Yvette's mother winked.

Dorian laughed, "then absolutely nothing would get done! I'm fond of myself, but having multiples of me would get us nowhere."

Yvette laughed with him, and for a moment she let herself believe that she was having a normal day. No Blighted Archdemons at the door trying to kick you in the head, no crazy thousand year old Magister trying to attain godhood.

A nice well paid normal...

"What about us, Yvette? Don't we get to meet your mother?" Leliana called from the side.

Josephine had just gotten back with her two other siblings.

"I thought you already did?" Yvette playfully stuck out her tongue.

Her whole family was here, she took a moment to relish the moment. Her father, her mother, Olivier, Aspen, and Frederick.

Her father was tall and proud, the years he lived only evident by the small amount of perfect silver in the small amount of facial hair. The dark brown hair on his head remained untouched by his years. His brown eyes twinkled slightly with a hint of mischief.

Olivier, decorated general, he had helped cities in the Free Marches rebuild directly after the Blight and sent whatever supplies and manpower he had to Kirkwall after the Mage blew up the Chantry. Olivier was a spitting image of her mother, but far younger, and had their father's hair color.

Aspen, had long dark hair, kept neatly in a braid that went down to her mid spine. Aspen was the noble woman of the family. She visited nobles on account of the Trevelyan's simply because she enjoyed it. She enjoyed going to the parties, playing The Great Game on a constant basis.

Frederick had a lighter brown hair, like a chestnut stallion and dark brown eyes. He kept his hair slicked back and in a small ponytail at the bottom. He had joined the army, much like Olivier, but he enjoyed being in the Calvary unit the best. So he mostly helped out with armored convoys, getting supplies to and from cities.

Then there was Yvette. A Mage with dark red hair. She was an oddity by all sorts.

She and her mother walked over to her advisers.

"Inquisitor, you look-"

"Cullen, I think we can cut the formalities tonight." Josephine giggles. "But you look absolutely gorgeous tonight, Yvette."

"I must agree." Leliana nodded.

"I... Thank you." Yvette's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink.

"Always so modest." Aspen joked, gently elbowing Yvette.

"Your Commander tells the most fascinating stories of your adventures, Yvette." Olivier chuckled, "three wyverns? I would've like to have seen that."

"Curly are you stealing my spotlight as story teller?"

Cullen chuckled, "temporarily filling the spot, I assure you."

"I hope that's the case. Because if not I'm going to be very upset." Varric shook his head with a slight smile.

"Perhaps you could tell us more then? Since she never writes." Frederick chuckled.

"She's a busy woman. Taking care of all of these people gives her little time for much else." Varric motioned to the hall, "besides. She's going to change history. You'll hear all about it then, I'm sure... But if you insist, I could tell you of the time we took a mercenary fortress in the Hinterlands. Or how we took the keep at Crestwood with just four people."

"You have been busy, haven't you, Yvette?" Olivier asked.

"Well, when you really want the building... You go and get it." Yvette chuckled, "though the keep wasn't really manned all that well..."

"Then what would you call 'manned well'?" Blackwall sarcastically asked.

"Certainly more than what was manned." Yvette chuckled.

"My lady, sometimes I think you have a death wish." Blackwall accusedly pointed at her, tone jovial and she only gave an innocent look and pointed at herself as if to say 'who, me?'

"I've met a bunch of Mages in my life, but she is by far the craziest. We come upon this door, we just killed fifteen bandits-" Varric was cut off.

"Andraste's flaming sword, fifteen?" Olivier breathed. His sister had gotten far more bold.

Cullen laughed, "after the three Wyvern story, you doubt fifteen bandits?"

"You have a good point, Commander."

"Please, call me Cullen."

"So Yvette walked up to the door, 'shall we knock?' Then Seeker goes 'it would be my pleasure' so we all hit the door, and it turns into these Sad Splinters, and the bandits inside, they look like they've just been caught with their pants down..."

By the end of the story, Varric had everybody laughing and Blackwall had walked away, Yvette was curious to know where he went.

"And that's how we got a fortress with four people."

"Mages everywhere better watch out." Aspen said, elbowing her sister again with a laugh.

"Not every mage scares me, but this one frightens me." Frederick said, pointing to Yvette.

"Hey!" Yvette faked being offended.

"In any case she has made a fine leader. I would not follow anyone else into battle." Cullen said with a slight smile.

Yvette had a small pink color cross her cheeks before she saw Vivienne go to Dorian, who took another sip of his brandy and had a wide smile on his face, before walking away with Vivienne, followed by Solas.

"I am Josephine Montilyet, ambassador to the Inquisition." Yvette heard the Ambassador introduce herself and even though her curiosity wanted to know what her mage-y friends were up too, she was pulled back into the conversation.

"I try to make sure that she writes, but Yvette is a very busy woman."

"I'm just happy you can write and tell us that she is well." Aspen said with a smile and a slight bow, "when we heard that her situation changed from prisoner to leader, imagine our slight confusion."

Yvette laughed awkwardly, "well... You know sometimes I still wonder." She joked. How true was it? Was she the Inquisitor because she had to be, because of this thing on her hand, The Anchor... It was her shackles to duty. She didn't pretend otherwise, but she didn't tell anyone either.

"I am Leliana Nightingale, intelligence keeper of the Inquisition."

"Fancy title for Spymaster?" Olivier winked.

"If you prefer." Leliana smiled.

"You used to be a bard in Orlais, right?" Aspen questioned.

"Used to be, yes. The Hero of Fereldan helped me past that life. Then the late Divine hired me, and I've never looked back."

"I commend you. The Great Game hasn't changed."

"Oh I know it! We are working to get an invitation to Halamshiral. I am most excited to be in the thick of it yet again." Leliana smiled with delight.

"The Great Game needs to go." Cullen said with a sigh.

"Commander!" Three voices shouted at him. Aspen, Leliana, and Josephine.

"You've opened up quite the jar of bees commander." Yvette's father chuckled.

"It seems so..." Cullen took a large sip of his drink.

"I came here to inform you that the main event is ready when Yvette is." Blackwall bowed, his beard not succeeding at hiding a mischievous smile. Cullen nodded, shooting Yvette that boyish smile, that smile where the scarred part of his lip would turn upwards.

Before Cullen could step out of the way and offer Yvette's father to walk her out, Yvette's father clapped his warrior hands, "Commander, walk my daughter outside would you?"

Before Cullen or Yvette could at least fake a protest, her father put up his hand, "I insist."

Not that Cullen wasn't ecstatic, but he knew the rumors around he and Yvette would become far more solid, was it time to stop hiding?

Cullen put down his drink, "Lady Trevelyan, may I walk you outside?" And offered his arm.

Yvette attempted to kill the blush on her cheeks and the butterflies in her stomach, "of course, Sir Rutherford." She curtsy-ed and linked their arms together and began walking outside.

"Might I say you look absolutely beautiful this evening?" Cullen gently whispered to where only she could hear.

"Thank you, Cullen." She could not help but beam, "you knew about this didn't you?"

"What sort of commander would I be if I didn't know? But I confess, I learned a lot more about you through your companions. They should be the ones you thank. I just gave Josephine the information."

They stepped outside and there was cheering. On the battlements, Yvette saw four people. Three were the other Mages; Solas, Vivienne, and Dorian. In front was Cassandra who put her hands up.

There was silence before she spoke.

"I remember as if it was yesterday. When Yvette stepped out of the Fade, delivered to us by Andraste. I remember her coming to us in our darkest hour. I mistook her as a prisoner, forced her into action... But when she saved the Templars from demons, that's when I knew. Her sealing the Breach only cemented and declared what I already knew. I knew that she was our leader. That Andraste had put Yvette at the Conclave to guide us. Little did I know how much of an impact she would make on me, as well as all of Thedas!"

There were more cheers.

Cassandra put her hands up again and then there was more silence.

"Today, we celebrate not only the birth of our inquisitor, but we also celebrate us. Those who survived."

Yvette smiled at Cassandra, who looked at Yvette and shared a smile and nodded.

"Tonight we drink, dance and feast!" Cassandra shouted.

"And tomorrow we kill Corypheus!" Yvette finished, throwing a fist into the air.

There was cheering and joy.

Cullen chuckled, "what I wouldn't give to kiss you now..."

"You're more bold than I thought you were-"

Then they were interrupted before they tilted their heads as there were colorful explosions in the sky, summoned by Vivienne, Dorian and Solas.

"Happy Birthday, Yvette." Cullen chuckled as Yvette ogled at the gorgeous display of magic. Bright blues, greens, purples, reds, whites, golds...

"Commander." It was Yvette's mother, "walk me around Skyhold."

"Of course, Madame Trevelyan." And he un-linked his arm with Yvette, and offered his arm to her mother.

"Don't worry dear. Your Commander will be back in no time, just want to look at your fortifications, I have to make sure my daughter is safe."

"Mother, I expect him to be sane after you return. The man has a lot to do, since I just told everyone we were killing Corypheus tomorrow." Yvette winked.

Her mother waved off Yvette as the Commander walked her to the battlements.

"I approve." Her father quickly filled in Cullen's spot, "he is a good man, Yvette. He will see your men and you through all of this."

"Father... I..."

"Your companions may be fooled, but you can't fool an old couple like your mother and I. We see the way he looks at you."

"He makes me happy, father. He truly does. But... His armor makes it hard for me to get in. He's... He's suffering right now. And he puts on a routine when he knows I'm looking."

"Just be you. Yvette. You're more honest than Frederick, more charming and clever than Aspen, more wise than Olivier... And you've got the stubbornness of your mother. He wants to show you. He just... Being a man of action in something that requires words is difficult."

"Speaking from experience, father?"

"I am." He smiled, "your mother knows the art of words, I know the art of action. You have to decide when and where is the best place and time."


	7. Chapter 7 - Swaying Hips

"My daughter must've put quite the spell on you." She chuckled.

Cullen tensed, "it's-"

"Strictly professional?" Her mother looked at him with eyes and a tone that said she had heard it all, and seen it all, "Commander I've raised three children with the exception of Yvette. Your eyes do not lie when they look at her."

"I... We..." Cullen fetched for words, "Is this common in all Trevelyans?" He joked, rubbing his free hand on the back of his neck.

Yvette's mother laughed, "making people speechless? It seems to be a common trait."

"She does it often." Cullen admitted with a slight laugh, "I just... We're in this war and... During all of this death and destruction, and darkness threatening to consume myself and everyone around us... She is the only light to be found."

"The brightest lights cause the darkest shadows." Her mother stated, "you doubt yourself."

He wondered how clearly she could see into his soul, into his heart, "I... Yes." He felt almost relieved to say it, "I must defeat my own personal demons before I could even be worthy of your daughter."

"Perhaps to you. She has already accepted you for you, Commander. And you have accepted her for her. Not because she's Inquisitor. Or the Herald. She knows every person has their own demons, I saw her struggle with hers when she was in the Circle." Her mother sounded sad when recalling this, "and I see another demon plaguing her, one she doesn't let anyone see... That worries me. She's my daughter. I care for her, but it is time I passed that torch to someone who sees her for more than a daughter, more than a Mage." She looked at him and smiled, "sees her for what she is, a beautiful and bright young woman."

Cullen nodded, "she is. She has confidence in everyone here. I am... Grateful for her support, in confronting my demons with me."

"Sometimes it takes the people around us to show us who we truly can be." Her mother smiled, "Skyhold is perfect for the Inquisition. Gives everyone room to grow. What goes down in history, who will say?" Her mother gently grazed her hand over the stone, "it does not take a Mage or a Templar to sense the magic in the stone, in the earth. But I digress. I return you to your Inquisitor now, do I?" She chuckled and began walking off the battlements with the Commander.

"Thank you." Her mother said with a smile, "for listening to an old woman speak of her daughter. It has been a long time since I've seen that glimmer in her eye."

"What glimmer is that?"

"Purpose. Hope... It broke my heart to give my youngest to the Circle... And even more when she looked heartbroken to not be able to follow what she felt..." Her mother gently unlinked her arm from his, and made a small curtsy and he a small bow. "You have helped more than you know." She winked as her voice was barely loud enough for him to hear before linking arms with her husband.

"He makes a fine Commander. Best I've seen since my day." She smiled, "he will be a great source of inspiration for many."

Yvette could only smile knowingly, her mother did indeed have a way with words.

"You may want to watch the finale, my dear." Her mother mentioned, pointing to the three Mages on the battlements.

They each had their eyes closed, hands moving to their own personal style, and Yvette could only feel that this was going to be huge.

And that it was, Vivienne went first, showing the memory of Yvette that she most cherished, a recent one in fact, where Vivienne had watched her twirl around in her dress. In that moment they had bonded, that much was true, little did Yvette know how much it impacted both of them.

Then ice blue flowers exploded through the memory, everyone clapped and Yvette could only smile as the light of magic quickly faded.

After hers dissipated, Solas was next, having his memory, the memory of when they went in the fade, explored ruins deep and dark, they had found nothing of interest to the Inquisition, but she had given time to see why he explored the Fade.

After that, green flowers exploded through his memory as well.

She had tried to keep her mage friends close, at first she thought it was only an excuse to keep an eye on them, as she didn't trust any mage except the ones from her circle. The Templars were a way of restoring order. Mages deserved the chance to prove that they needed freedom, but the mass murder that they promoted was not pleasant. They had ruined that chance for them, in Yvette's mind.

Then, through mere curiosity, she gave them one chance. And they had surprised her. And she had become their friend. And they her friends. She occasionally wondered what would've happened if she had gone after the mages.

Dorian was last, and he, in true Dorian-form out showed them. When they had just had a brandy, when he was helping her fine tune her magic, made her laugh, and then when she had taken him to that tavern in Redcliffe to meet his father. And sympathized with Dorian.

Then, several kinds of purple flowers exploded through the memory and faded.

Then a final explosion of magic, in the shape of a magnificent dragon exploded into tiny specks of light, fading as they fell.

And thus the finale was done, leaving Yvette in tears and the crowd cheering. There was music in the background and sounds of joy.

After the best magic display she had ever seen, and after much feasting and drinking, she went outside in the courtyard and danced.

Danced with Sera, albeit it was more making it up as you go, versus actual dancing. Yvette simply moved the way her body wanted to. And surprisingly got Lysette, a lower ranking female Templar to dance with them.

Cullen shook his head when she looked towards him as he put a pint to his lips. Most Templars didn't dance. Well, he counted himself anyways. Besides, he was still in his armor. It would only prove to get in the way regardless.

Cullen watched Yvette move with the music. Perhaps watched her swaying hips, and moving hair too intently.

"What are you finding in those swaying hips? Secrets of the universe?" Dorian chuckled as he raised a glass of brandy to his own lips.

Cullen had to let out a breath, which he didn't realize he was holding in, and cursed under his breath as he had not been paying attention to anything except, "I wasn't looking at her... hind quarters..." Nothing he could say could dissuade the Mage. Not one who was around her almost constantly when she wasn't in battle.

"She enjoys this little amount of freedom." Cullen smiled only slightly, "we... We have been hard on her, this is true. I can't deny that. It's good to see her in a moment of... Herself."

"She has been harder on herself." Dorian interjected.

"Oh?"

"Always has been. Do you know what she did when she was in the midst of suffering from the red lyrium?"

Cullen closed his eyes. Did he truly want to know? He knew that this would just make him worry more about her, more about letting her out of his sight...

"Tell me."

"She wrote all of her experiences down when she could. Until she noticed her writing becoming gibberish. When we weren't looking we had no idea her mind was slowly deteriorating. We had no idea she was fighting a losing battle into madness."

"Why did she write it all down?"

"So someone could help others. She wrote down what she felt, how she felt, what she heard, what she saw... Thedas has no idea that they are in such capable hands." Dorian sipped his brandy. "Thank you for saving her."

"I'm sorry?"

"If not for you... Well... You wouldn't have any swaying hips to stare at."

Cullen shook his head and let out a small chuckle, "she is alright. And that is what counts."

"Her suffering is not done yet, but it's almost over. And that, is what truly counts."

Some hours later, the food was nearly depleted, drinks nearly dry, and drunk soldiers making it back to their barracks, and others making it back to their rooms.

Cullen had lost sight of Yvette during everyone moving around, and wanted to see her before he retired, but almost didn't get the chance until he saw her on the battlements.

He smiled, until he heard a noise. Sobbing from what he could tell. Sobbing she was trying to contain. And almost succeeded.

He carefully walked up, not hiding his steps, just making sure that she knew he wasn't sneaking up on her.

"Yvette?" He gently called out, still slowly walking towards her.

She jumped, quickly wiping away her eyes, put on a smile, "oh. I didn't realize you were retiring early... If I knew I would've..."

"Not come here? Yvette... What's wrong?" He quickly closed the space, a gloved hand resting on her cheeks.

She bit her lip and for a moment she toyed with the idea of putting on that fake smile, telling him everything was alright.

But he looked in her eyes and her resolve crumbled.

"Cullen... When I saw all those people after the magic display... I... I couldn't help but feel dread. I saw today the price of what I do if I fail. If I fall." She admitted, her eyes looking away from him, but he kept his hand on her cheek and his eyes on hers. "If I fall, it is a long drop. I don't want to let anyone down, I can't let anyone down. I feel this unimaginable pressure on my mind, weighing down my soul and... And I can't make it go away."

He pulled her close, gently holding her head in a tight embrace. She had just shown him a piece of her soul. This would not go unnoticed. He just didn't know how to pay her back in kind. He was never that good with words. But he would find something.

He caressed her dark red hair as she continued to hold in sobs. Within moments he felt her body stop to only breathing and he could only smile as her hands gently took his and she gently a squeezed them. Her smile genuine and her eyes dry.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"You look absolutely beautiful." Cullen put his hand on her cheek again and began slowly inching his face towards hers, "I've been wanting to do this all night."

"And you're not-"

"I don't care." And with that their lips connected. Her lips were soft and still tasted of a sweet chocolate. It was sweet and like lightning, he, they wanted- no needed more.

After a few kisses, their true exhaustion hit them and they could only smile, and quietly laugh in their moment of being together, eyes closed and foreheads resting on one another.

"Commander-"

"Cullen." He corrected.

"Habit." She shrugged, "you need rest you have our forces to command."

"Hence my title." He winked, "you should get some rest as well. Corypheus isn't going to kill himself."

"As if good luck would shine on me now." She joked. Then kissed his cheek, "good night, Cullen." And walked to her room.

How he wished to follow her, to hold her in his arms, for her to fall asleep in his arms... But such was not to be. Not yet. Maybe someday. But as for now- they had more pressing matters to deal with.

He entered his own tower, his own quarters, and climbed the ladder. He slowly took off his armor, and when he laid in bed, that's when his hands began shaking.

He sighed. The need for lyrium wasn't gone. He had been too hopeful.

Tonight was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8 - Gifts

**A little bit of bad news. I am starting to run out of ideas for Rise that aren't game events. So... I'd be open to some brainstorming! You might give me an idea! **

**But I also want to thank those of you who have been favoriting this story, following, and commenting! I look forward to hearing from you! **

* * *

Yvette walked back to her quarters, everyone had slowly been going to bed, the events of this night on everyone's mind. The fun they had, the drinks, the food... The peace. People cherished it when they could get it. One night would hardly set them back.

Even her family had been escorted to their rooms when the festivities had died down.

Yvette sighed as she walked up her stairs and began taking off articles of clothing. Shoes, stockings, gloves... Piece by piece she slowly made a trail of strewn clothing to her bed as she fell into it, in naught but her small clothes.

The night was cool and everything was calm. She closed her eyes for a moment.

"Show me what kind of woman you really are!"

Her eyes shot back up. The Envy demon. Blasted thing. It went through her mind. At that time she was determined to not let anything it did or said bothered her.

She saw Leliana slit Cullen's throat. Just like it was nothing. She knew that the real Leliana would never do it, but the image was still there.

She sighed and attempted to roll over.

The Envy demon also made her see how he would take over the Inquisition. She couldn't let that happen. Demons everywhere, the Inquisition controlled by a demon... She frowned as she laid her head on her pillow.

She got up and dressed herself in her uniform. Being in a dress was nice, but it was also slightly annoying. Breeches allowed her a wider range of movement.

She collected the clothes that she had strewn about her quarters, put them neatly in a drawer and came down stairs. She went to the library, but when nothing she saw grabbed her attention she went to the garden.

Her plants were growing quite well. When they sprouted she was going to turn the soil and use it for Elfroot and Embrium. There was always a need for more healing herbs.

She opened a door on the outskirts of the garden and found the room with a statue of Andraste. None of the candles were lit, so she decided to light them all with a small spell. When she did she only looked on Andraste's face and stared. She had learned that everyone in her close net of friends believed in the Maker, with the exception of Iron Bull. Even Solas believed in the Maker, maybe not to an extent of worship, but the belief was still there. Belief in the idea was enough.

"Andraste..." Yvette started, "sometimes I can't..." What do you say to a statue? Her eyes shut and she bowed her head.

She tried to think of something, anything. She was struggling. Then she thought of her first conversation with Leliana at Haven. Who was struggling with the sudden death of Divine Justinia.

Yvette could offer nothing to Leliana. No words of encouragement, only a "I'm sorry for your loss."

Yvette looked up to Andraste. "I believe in the Maker as much as the next guy... But... Has he turned away from us so much that you can't make him watch us again?"

She felt silly, but in a way, it helped. It was helping, right?

"Can you say nothing to the Maker? You're his bride, his wife. You should be able to speak to him in a way we cannot." Yvette sighed, "we do what we can, but even the most purest of hearts doesn't make him even glance at us."

"Why does he abandon his most faithful? Why does he not act? If he wants us to believe that the less he does the more he is proven... Well, he's making it hard for us to believe in him if there's no sign that he is even watching."

Yvette cast another spell and all the candles blew out. And she sighed. "I believe Andraste. I believed in your guidance and your words, and I reach for your light... But how can we not hold some grudge against a father who abandoned us?" She laid down on the stone, and she felt the power within the stone, within the earth, "talk to him. I'm sure if you just talk to him he'll come around." She mumbled, slowly drifting off to sleep.

For once since saving the Templars, since Haven, since fighting red lyrium... In the small room with Andraste looking over her, she slept well. Even if the ground was made of stone.

* * *

She felt someone watching. Maybe she was just over reacting since the statue was in the same room. She rolled over and opened her eyes to a kneeling figure.

"Come here often?"

She could only smile as she sat up. "Fancy seeing you here." She laughed.

She could see the smile on Cullen's face, but she also could see that he was tired. She reached up and gently grazed her hand on his face. She could feel that he was hot, yet had the lingering cold sweat on his face, no matter how much he may have wiped it off.

For a moment, there was just silence. She knew what he was suffering from and he couldn't pretend other wise.

But eventually he smiled, not that cute boyish smile, but a soft handsome smile and kissed her forehead.

"Forgive my intrusion. I did not mean to wake you."

Yvette shook her head and chuckled, "you didn't. I needed to get up anyways."

Cullen got up and offered her a hand, which she gladly took. She gently wiped herself off.

"As a Templar I used to pray every morning. I may have left that life behind, but I still believe." He looked up at the statue, "it's not as gaudy as a Chantry, and I like it this way."

Yvette smiled and gently squeezed his hand, "perhaps you can reach her where I could not."

And before he could say anything more she left.

Not a lot of people were up and about, despite it being late in the morning. Too much to drink most likely. Yvette chuckled. She just hoped her companions were tearing to go.

She first found Varric by the fire, as was his usual spot.

"Morning." Yvette said with a smile.

"Morning." Varric returned it, "that was some party you had last night."

Yvette shrugged, "it was fun. I think it gave people that reason to keep fighting. Good times can be had amongst the bad."

Varric nodded, "well. One thing at a time right?"

"For everyone else perhaps." Yvette joked.

"You don't really have it easy, that's true. But we're here for you, despite the shit we have going on with each other."

An understanding passed between the two of them. Yvette nodded, knowing what he meant. Everyone may not understand each other, but they were her friends. If they didn't agree on anything else, she was the one that kept them all together.

They needed to get things in motion again. But she had no idea where to start. Josephine was doing her best to gain favor with the Empress to garner an invitation to the Winter Palace, but they were only making small groundwork.

Politics. What a pain.

Even though festivities were over, her family said that they would stay for another day or so, just to catch their breath from a long trip, and Josephine was more than happy to accommodate them.

Yvette also decided, on Leliana's insistence to wait until her scouts reported back. Yvette was a little antsy, but she knew better than to go against the spymaster.

The day went by uneventfully, she tried to make herself busy by helping around.

When she could find nothing to do, she went back to her quarters and played the small instrument. She almost forgot how much she loved to play.

Her fingers were a little clumsy, but for the most part, she still had a few songs memorized.

"Find me still searching..."

She was happy she knew the song by heart. It was one of her favorite songs that... What was that minstrel's name? Marylyn? No. Maryden? That had to be it.

Yvette liked hearing the minstrel sing, and threw her some coins when she thought that she was exceptional, which was most of the time, so Yvette waited until she left to throw her some sovereigns.

Yvette thought it was time to go to the tavern, maybe invite Dorian to drink herself into a stupor. She growled to herself. What would be the point? Oh wait, there would be not point.

She felt herself getting agitated. She felt that slight heat build at the tips of her fingers. She quickly quelled it. She didn't need to burn her room to cinders. It was maddening that she had no idea what to do. Usually her goal was crystal clear, but when she was told to wait on the scouts? Ugh. They seemed they could not be any slower.

She put the instrument back down and before she got up she spotted a book. She rolled her eyes but chuckled.

Hard in Hightown. Of course.

She began reading the first chapter. Night finally rolled around and she was on the last chapter.

Leliana had knocked on the door and sadly that meant that Yvette had to put down the book.

"Come in." She yelled, grudgingly putting down the book, it was an excellent read.

She saw Leliana come in, then Josephine and her family.

Yvette simply raised an eyebrow, "did I miss something?"

"Not at all. But there's a reason I don't play Wicked Grace, Inquisitor." Leliana winked then laid a small rectangular box on her desk. "Open it."

Yvette opened it, carefully, when she opened it however it was a simple silver chain bracelet. With just a little amount of sparkling jewels.

"It's... It's beautiful."

"It's also practical." Leliana smiled, "I have a few mage friends and they were more than happy to enchant something for the Inquisitor."

"Thank you Leliana." Yvette smiled before putting it on. She felt a rush of power. It was going to be fun testing it on the Venatori tomorrow.

Then Josephine stepped up with a box in hand, "here." Her smile wide, as normal, but there was happiness behind it, "I've been looking out for this for you. It's not as practical as Leliana's but... I do hope you like it."

"Josephine... No need to worry." Yvette was sure she would love it, "besides its not as if..." She stopped in her tracks as she looked at the book Josephine had given her, "this is absolutely amazing!"

It was an old worn book. No doubt found in the depths of a library.

Simply titled "Magic".

She had been wanting to expand her own range of spells, and the teachers could teach her nothing new. Solas could teach her rift mage abilities if she wanted, Dorian could teach her ways of Necromancy, and Vivienne would be more than happy to teach her the spells of the Knight-Enchanter.

She wanted to make her own magic. Be her own mage. She wanted to be unique. And she didn't want to dabble in blood magic.

"Thank you, Josephine. This... This means a lot to me. Thank you."

She hugged the Ambassador who wasn't expecting it and after a few awkward seconds, hugged her back and then politely left the room. Internal affairs would not run themselves after all.

"I must admit we were racking our brain trying to think of something. But... In the end, we decided you needed someone. Not something." Her mother had a mischievous smile before putting a box in Yvette's hands.

The box was light.

Yvette looked at her mother like she had lost her sanity.

Then she opened the box.

"You... Found him? Restored him?" Yvette was moved, almost to tears as she pulled out a round stuffed animal, a blue dragon. The stuffed animal attempted to be fierce but was too fat and round to look anything except adorable.

"We went to the circle after you told us you were being sent to the Conclave. We wanted you to come home for a little while when you got back..." Her father explained.

"You're face is all I needed to know I did good." Aspen said with a wink, "I sewed him back together, did you keep him together with magic?" She chuckled.

"I... Thank you so much. I've missed him. More than I'll actually admit." Yvette winked, as if she was keeping a secret.

"Can't fool us!" Olivier laughed. "However, this is also our way of saying goodbye. We have other duties we need to tend to." He put a hand on his sisters shoulder and kissed her forehead, "I'll miss you."

"We all will sweety." Her mother said, ushering her children out of Yvette's room, "we'll let you sleep. But don't forget to write."

And with that her mother left the room. Yvette couldn't begin to describe how happy she was now that she had her 'fat dragon' with her again. She squeezed it tightly, like she used to when she was in the circle.

In the strangest of ways, she felt whole again.

She had changed into a loose tunic and loose breeches, nothing like her constricting uniform. She felt comfortable and now understood why Solas was the first to shed his armor when they arrived at Skyhold.

She sighed as she ran a hand through her messy hair. It was longer than normal. She needed to cut it. She sighed with slight aggravation.

Then she heard a familiar chuckle, "did I come at a bad time?"

Yvette turned around and a smile consumed her face, "I don't think that's possible when you're here." She joked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh good," Cullen smiled, well, smirked. That damned boyish smirk. It almost made her melt, "anyways, I... Came here to..." He was struggling with something he was hiding, "to... Give you something."

"Cullen you don't-"

He put up a hand, "I do. Follow me?" He asked with a grin and put out an arm, which she walked to him and took his arm and he lead her to the smithy. Dagna and Harrit were asleep, as were most of Skyhold.

On the table was something long and covered in cloth.

"When I had overheard you and Vivienne talk about your staff and how it wasn't out putting the magic you were, I had Dagna and Harrit make a staff..." He walked over to the table and lifted up the cloth.

Her face brightened, "Cullen... I've never seen this design anywhere!" She began to pick it up and inspect it. "I... I've never seen anything like it." Her hands roamed over the crystal which hummed with magic as her hands neared it. The staff gently lit up with her touch. The blade on the end curved and went into a sharp edge.

Cullen laughed, "I would hope not..." His hand went to the back of his neck, his nervous tell, "I designed the staff." His volume was low, but the words made Evelyn stop in her tracks.

"You... Did?" Her tone was impressed.

"I... Yes." He gulped.

"It's absolutely amazing." She held it as if she had been holding this staff her entire life. "I... Cullen, this means so much to me." She held her staff closely.

"I'm glad." Cullen meant it. He looked back to the door and then looked back at her, before taking off both of his gloves. His hands shook as he could feel her magic surrounding her. The Templar in him told him to subdue the magic, but the Man in him told him to relish the feeling of her magic. And he was glad that the Man won out almost without a fight from the Templar.

Both hands gently cupped Yvette's face. He had always touched her face with his, her lips were always soft, but this... This was different. Maker why did he wait so long?

He stroked her cheek and let his thumb slightly trail over her lips. They were soft, smooth... Like velvet.

Her bright blue eyes never left his dark brown eyes. She knew that this meant the world to him. She knew how much of a step this was for him, so she gently put a hand on his, pushing it gently further against her face.

"Your hands are-"

"Not soft like a nobleman's... I know. I'm sorry." He looked ashamed, and went to remove his hands, but she kept them placed.

"That's why I love them." She smiled, refusing to remove her hand from his. His hands were rough from holding a sword and shield nearly all of his life. "Don't apologize." She whispered as she put her staff back on the table and leaned her head in.

The feeling of her hair on his bare hands was invigorating. As she leaned in, he combed his fingers through her hair and gently pulled her closer.

He had showed her what she meant to him, by the simple act of taking off his gloves. It was no secret that there was fire between them, but both knew now was not the time... Though the place wasn't all that bad...

But when a hand slipped into the back of her neck, she made a small sound which Cullen had to fight himself to keep contained. He fought himself for a long good moment before he got control of his body again, and at her as the parted.

"Maker's breath..." He chuckled his hands roaming through her wine colored hair, he almost didn't want to stop but the moons light in the small cavern told him it was late, "let me walk you back." He smiled, extending his arm again.

Yvette chuckled, he knew he didn't have to do all this for her, but the fact that he wanted to, and did showed her everything. She couldn't help but smile as she kissed his cheek, grabbed his gloves and her staff and linked in her arm and let the gentleman walk her to her room just across the hall.


	9. Chapter 9 - Nightmares

**Sorry for the late update, guys! I was brainstorming and writing for this story. As always, I look forward to hearing from you! **

* * *

Cullen brought his bare hand to get face again and brought her in for a gentle kiss. Her soft skin like the velvet he never wanted to let go of.

"Get some rest, Yvette. You have much to do without my distractions."

"You... I could never view you as a distraction." Her smile held some hidden amusement.

He chuckled, "If you say so, Inquisitor." With that he kissed her cheek, ran his bare hands through her hair again, his fingers lingering on her face before trailing over her lips and leaving.

The electricity on her face was exhilarating. Where he had left his touches she felt the gentle zap on her skin.

She smiled coyly as he left, she noticed he reflexively rubbed the back of his neck with his bare hands and she realized, as she looked down at her own hands, that she had his gauntlets.

She smirked and went into her room. She would be looking after them, for safekeeping of course.

As she walked up the stairs in her quarter she grinned as she saw the blue stuffed dragon sitting on her bed. Like he was waiting for her.

She giggled, ran and jumped on the bed, catching the dragon nearly in mid air. She clutched her new things close to her tonight. The dragon did not leave her chest, she put on his gloves, and then held the staff that he designed for her. She went to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

His walk to his office was long, but only because he was alone with the moon for company. The lyrium withdrawal heightened when he was alone. Especially right after he saw her. She hadn't had any lyrium for days either, and thankfully she had recovered from the red lyrium easily, or she was hiding her symptoms better than he was hiding his. Though it was painful to watch. But he could still feel lyrium in her body, she was still a mage. He needed it... No, he didn't need the lyrium... He needed her. She was a healthier addiction. His scarred lip turned upwards as he remembered her smile, her laugh.

He was really happy how perfect his staff had turned out. How much her eyes lit up. He remembered how soft her skin was in his palm... How soft her lips were as he longingly dragged his fingers over them. Taunting them both.

Her hair was soft as silk, and nearly red as wine. Her eyes were the color of raw lyrium itself. But... In his ears rang out the small sound that had barely escaped her lips. It drove him mad.

He chuckled as he absently traced his palm with his fingers recalling all of the sensations. Her brand of magic was cold, she used ice magic quite often, but it wasn't frigid. He had touched her magic with his bare hands, he felt it travel through his hands and down his spine.

Maker, she could only make him this crazy.

He finally got to his office when he was climbing the wood up to his 'room' he still needed to clean the wooden planks that littered it, but tonight he didn't bother. He looked at his hands and realized that Yvette had his gloves. He gave a small smile and told himself he would retrieve them in the morning.

He stripped his armor, putting it to the side and crawled into his bed. He closed his eyes and for a moment it was dreamless.

* * *

It started with her lips. Softer than flower petals and more intoxicating and sweeter than wine. He held her close to him and he never wanted to let go.

Her bright smile quickly turned to fear and agony as she was ripped apart from him and he saw as she was held down by demons.

"No!" His voice echoed in his dreams as he reached for her, but he was trapped. Uldred had him trapped in here. He could do nothing but bang on the magical shield, no matter how hard he kicked, punched, swung his templar blade... Nothing worked. He was forced to do one of two things, attempt not to listen and pray or to watch and be mortified... And he couldn't bring himself to look away.

The demons laughed in his face as they cut open her skin, the rage demon leaving burns on the edges.

"Cullen, don't watch!" Yvette had shouted. "Look away!" She screamed and he couldn't bring himself to heed her command.

"Yvette!" He banged against the confines of the trap. He had no energy to fight it.

"Cullen... Please, look away." Years streamed down her cheeks as a desire demon flicked its tongue up her neck.

He was angry and could do nothing. His templar friends were dead, he needed to do something. But he couldn't. He was powerless.

"Yvette, please," he cried, "look at me. Everything is going to be okay."

Yvette smiled sadly. Hot tears streaming down her cheeks. She nodded, "repeat after me, Cullen."

"Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter."

His eyes never left hers, he found him repeating those words.

"Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just."

He repeated those words and they cut into her again.

"Blessed are those who stand before the corrupt and the wicked... And do not falter." She smiled weakly. Blood trickling down her mouth.

"Yvette! No!"

The desire demon's hand stuck out of her chest, the purple clawed hands holding the bleeding heart. There was that dreadful laughter...

* * *

He woke up in cold sweat and shaky hands, quickly dressing and taking a brisk walk to the Inquisitor's room. Knocking on the door furiously.

He heard stumbles and grumbles and she opened the door.

"Cullen..." She mumbled, wiping the sleep from her eye, "Cullen what's wrong?" She noted his eyes, full of panic and fear.

Despite the tears tugging at his eyes he had found her wearing his gloves... Adorable.

"Come in, come in." She stepped to the side and he walked in, when she closed the door, he quickly brought her in for an embrace.

"I couldn't... Couldn't sleep." He mumbled as he attempted to keep his tears and his shaking to a minimum.

"Cullen... What's wrong?"

"Don't ask me to repeat it, please." His request was soft and breathy. His voice was weak.

"Okay" Yvette said her voice still plagued with sleep, "will you tell me later?"

He deflected her question, "I'm sorry to wake you. I just..." He took a whiff of her hair, "I just needed to know if you were alright."

"I'm fine." She yawned, despite her best efforts to hold it in.

"Come on. Let me put you back in bed."

She looked at him and planted a sleepy kiss on his cheek.

"Only if you come with me." She let a groggy smile grace her face.

"I-I- it would be inappropriate." Cullen stuttered.

"Not if we just sleep." She winked, gathering her wits, "unless you're afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me." She let out a giggle and another yawn.

"Yvette... I-I couldn't..."

"Just come in, and lay down. I'm not letting you stay up the whole night." She looked directly at him, "I will cast a sleep spell on you if I must." As if she knew any. But he didn't know that.

He found himself laughing and planted a small kiss on her soft lips.

She took this as a conformation and walked up the small stairs and took the stuff off her bed. Dragon, staff, book. Then she took off his gloves from her hands and set them on the small table next to her bed.

Then crawled into it and patted the space next to her.

"I... Uh-um..."

She patted it with more force.

He chuckled and took off his pauldrons, breastplate and his boots, but nothing else. He still had on a black cloth tunic and black breeches, and with no amount of small resistance crawled into her bed.

It was... Awkward. Beyond awkward. But he knew that she wouldn't let him sleep on the floor, or even the small couch. Besides, they were just sleeping right? Sleeping... Here. Right _next_ to her.

_Maker_, he thought, **_help me_**.

He was surprised at first how soft it was. But he felt another sensation as he laid down. He looked at Yvette and saw that she had crawled next to him, wrapping one of his arms around her. He looked at her for a moment and smiled, kissing her forehead.

She was the best thing that had happened in his life.

Her face was content as she placed her head on his chest.

"Don't make me do it." She mumbled with another yawn.

A velvet rumble laugh escaped his chest, she could only smile, "do what?" He smiled.

"I will cast a sleep spell on you." She playfully tapped his nose with a finger. "Don't make me do it."

"I'll be fine, Yvette." He breathed.

Her eyes were closed, "mmhmm. So why is your heart beating fast?"

Could he tell her that nightmares haunted him? That the demons dogged him in his sleep? Maybe eventually. But not now.

"Now you know what you do to me."

She smiled, "I see." Was all she said.

The dreams were still fresh in his mind and he held her closer for a moment, his fear slowly, slowly easing away. They could not pull her away if she was here with him. If he could guard her more vigilantly. He glared to no one specifically but he kept petting her hair and his heart beat slowed and his sharp gaze dulled.

He struggled to stay awake, her breathing lulled him better than any spell and he soon found himself in the clutches of sleep.

* * *

He awoke to find that the tables had turned and she was holding him close to her.

His brown eyes opened slowly, meeting her bright blue ones and he felt her fingers brush the back of his head. A tingling feeling going down the back of his spine. He relished each brush of her fingers.

He smiled remembering how he had fallen asleep with her beside him, being there to soothe his fear.

Her smile matched his own.

"Hello sleeping beauty."

He chuckled, "I could say the same thing about you."

"Everyone would agree with me though." She winked.

"Not everyone." He smiled.

"No? Then who would disagree?" She teased, gently poking him in the chest.

"I would." He smiled and brought her in for a kiss.

She smiled against his lips and gently deepened the kiss. Cullen found himself nearly absorbed into her when she shifted, he found himself moving with her. His hands had gently raked through her hair again causing her to take a sharp breath inwards. For a blink of an eye they didn't move.

What started out as a simple, playful kiss was now full of frantic desire. His hands moved down her frame. He had found the end of her tunic and had gently started to lift it up. The skin of her flesh was...

"Cullen..." Her breathy tone demanded his attention, he saw that her blue eyes swam with burning want.

"I..." He breathed with a smirk, "am a_ bad, bad_ man." He slammed his lips onto hers, crossing that 'inappropriate' line he was so determined not to cross when she had invited him to just sleep.

There were knocks at the door.

Yvette chuckled as Cullen kept his grip, but didn't make anymore moves.

He pulled away, his eyes almost snapping to hers, "You... You should..." It took every ounce of his self-discipline to keep from pulling her back down to him, Maker's breath... He_ did not_ want to stop.

Harder knocks at the door.

"Not so bad, are you, Cullen?" She whispered and gave a final kiss.

It almost shattered his resolve. Almost. He was barely saved by the sound of giggling on the other side of the door.

"Leliana and Josephine no doubt."

"Pretend you're looking at something on my desk," She whispered with a laugh as she gathered her uniform shirt to pull over her tunic and pulled it over her shirt, straightening herself as she walked over to the small stairs leading to the door.

She took one last glance over to him and let out a small guilty laugh as he rushed to put on his armor over his black tunic. He shot her a playful glare as if to say 'I blame you'. She shrugged and shot one last grin at him before walking down the steps. She would try to buy him as much time as he could.

Try being the keyword here.


	10. Chapter 10 - Into A Warzone

It was Leliana and Josephine. Cullen spent most of his days with them in the War Room. A pang of jealousy hit her, of course he would know their laughs.

"Uh... Hi." Yvette said with a slightly nervous smile, "I feel like I'm about to be..." She looked at the pair of them for a long moment, "Eaten?"

"Eaten? Perish the thought, Inquisitor!" Leliana released a giggle, "We spoke of Halamshiral a few days ago, did we not?"

"We spoke of gathering enough favor for an invitation." Yvette pointed out.

"And an invitation we now have." Josiphine said happily, holding the invitation.

Yvette groaned, "Maker, help me." She sighed, "Who's it from?"

"The Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons." Josie answered.

"The so called 'Usurper'?" Yvette held a hand on her temple, making sure she had that bag of cats straight, the last thing she needed was to get one Orlesian noble confused with another and stepping on more people's toes.

"Some would also call him the rightful Emporer of Orlais." Cullen intervened, now having all of his armor on, and looking impressive as ever.

"Commander." Josiphine blinked, "When did you arrive?"

"Hours ago." Yvette answered, "Talking of possible strategies, of the possibilities of our forces coming into contact with Corypheus. We must be ready if and when it occurs."

That's what they probably should've been doing instead of kissing like happy hormonal teenagers. She faked a slight cough to hide her blush as she remembered Cullen's fingers slightly glide over her waist.

"Oh, by the way, since you both are in the same room." Leliana held a smirk, "I've arranged a tailor from Orlais to come here. I've got nothing except the absolute best." Leliana crossed her arms, "So, expect soon to play dress up."

"Maker's breath." Cullen sighed, "Leliana, what are you-"

"Getting everyone ready for the Winter Palace, of course, Commander. The Orlesian nobility won't so much look at us if we aren't wearing the latest fashions." Leliana playfully smiled, "Well they might, but if we are to learn anything about anyone we must blend in. And that means following the rule: When in Orlais-"

"Do and the Orlesians do." Cullen grumbled, "Maker. I hate nobles." Then he nervously looked at Yvette, "Except for your family of course."

Yvette covered her mouth to hold in a laugh, "No, no. It's fine. I can't say I'm all that thrilled to play dress up for one night." She rolled her eyes, "But... When in Orlais do as the Orlesians do." She sighed, "Though if they ask me to do the Remigold, I'm declining." Yvette pointed at Leliana and Josiphine before heading back into her room to grab her staff and the magic book, "Tell Iron Bull, Varric, and..." Her head felt heavy as she walked down the stairs again.

"Inquisitor?" Cullen asked, tone not masking his worry.

Yvette waved him off, "And Dorian to meet me near the armory. We want as much of Orlais to be on our side as possible. So we go where they war."

"You want to go to the Exalted Plains?" Josiphine asked.

"Inquisitor, I don't think that's a good idea." Cullen stated, more than advised.

"I don't have much a choice. If we want Orlais to be with us, even after," She closed her eyes for a moment, "after Corypheus is dead, then what choice do I have?"

"But the tailor-"

"Isn't going to get here for another few weeks, right? Especially if he's coming from Val Royeaux?" Yvette asked looking into Leliana's eyes.

The spymaster looked none too happy about the facts being in her face and then collected herself with a slight nod and making back to her roost and Josephine headed to her desk.

"I leave for the Exalted Plains." Yvette nodded, and walked out, closing the door behind her.

"Inquisitor." Cullen caught up with her, "I have some maps of the Exalted Plains that you might want to see, before going out. Stop by my office before you leave."

He wanted to hold her. His hands practically ached to bring her in for an embrace. It was days like this where he wished he was bold enough. All he could do was look in her eyes and try to tell her how worried he was.

She offered her soft smile that said that she knew. After what seemed like an eternity she opened the door and went through the great hall to the armory.

The Iron Bull, Dorian and Varric were just finishing putting on their armor. Flashing her winning smiles, she could only smile back. Her family extension was made of the best people. She wouldn't trade them out for anybody.

"Well," She said winking at them, "Three handsome devils, all waiting for me." She made a dreamy sigh, "I feel loved."

"Whoa, hey now. Bianca might get jealous." Varric playfully warned.

"Oh, Bianca. She can join us." She snickered.

"Sometimes, you remind me of Isabella, Inquisitor." Varric chuckled, "Sometimes you confuse Bianca... I've seen the way you look at her."

"Bianca has nothing to worry from me. I am a one man sort of woman." She hummed slightly.

"You mean 'one Commander' kind of woman." Dorian teased.

"And it's not nice to tease Dorian, Boss. You know how he can get." Iron Bull chuckled.

Dorian shot Bull a glare and offered a courteous bow to Yvette, "Always a pleasure to see you, Inquisitor."

"Hey, Sparkler, did you get her that staff?" Varric asked, noting Yvette's new weapon.

"No. But I now wish that I did, and that I had one." Dorian ogled it for a moment, "It gives me wonderful goosebumps just looking at it."

Yvette chuckled, remembering the previous night when Cullen had given it to her. Maker, that man just kept surprising her. What started as teasing him about his Templar origins was now... She smiled brightly as she put on her mage robes behind a cover, she remembered the light touch of his fingers on the back of her neck, the feather touch on her waist... She shivered, buckling her potions belt to her. With a final tug on the laces of her boots she was done.

"The Commander said that he had maps for me to look at, so you go to the stables, and I'll meet you shortly." She smiled at her companions before nearly bolting out of the door.

"Is it just me or does she seem really... Smiley?" Iron Bull rhetorically asked.

"Not just you." Varric agreed.

"Yvette... You... Didn't even tell me about this." Cullen massaged his temples when she stepped into his door, "You're going into a warzone, Yvette."

"No more than normal." She shrugged, "I've been here for days. I can't stay here as much as I want to."

"I just... I'm your Commander." He was frustrated with himself, "it's now I that I should have the power to shield you, but I don't." He looked at his desk, one of his hands balling into a fist, "Maker's breath..." He whispered, "You just... You come back in one piece."

She put a gentle hand on his and smiled before nodding, "I will. You can count on it."

"I'm holding you to that." Cullen mumbled glumly as he watched her walk out of his office. "Maker turn his gaze on you." He whispered, worry gripping his heart.


	11. Chapter 11 - An Update!

**This is just an update.**

**I haven't forgotten about this story, but I have to go back and edit a few things as I'm sure NOW where I want Yvette to go, that requires me to go back through and change a few things.**

**So never fear when I go deleting chapters and things! :) They will get re-published and you will have a better character to read! :) **


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